“She told me she loved you. It was one of the last things she said before she packed a bag and stormed out. But that she couldn’t live in this farce of a relationship. Where I fucked her but didn’t care about her in any other way. She wasn’t entirely right, I did care about her I just didn’t love her. And there were times when I felt . . .” he trailed off.
“Like an outsider looking in.”
James looked startled. “You knew?”
“Then? No. I just thought you were being a selfish bastard. That you were putting your work before us, before her. So, I tried harder to be what I thought she needed. Turns out she didn’t want or need me at all, huh?”
He stood and paced, unable to stay still. “No, it was Kinley who pointed out that there was something wrong. I didn’t think you could take care of someone else, that you had it in you.”
“I’ve wondered the same thing.”
Sloan whirled. “But you took care of Kinley when she was ill.”
“I guess I’ve changed.”
“Yeah, you have. But I think on the inside you’re still the same man.”
“A cold, selfish bastard?”
“No,” Sloan said slowly, seeing the boy he’d known all those years ago. He was hidden beneath the mask the man had put on, but he was still there. “No, I think you’re lonely, a little lost, and that you just want what we all do, to belong somewhere.”
James barked out a laugh. Then he stood and walked to the floor to ceiling windows. He turned. “I’m a fucking billionaire. I could walk out of here and into any party, and people would flock to me. They want to be me. I’m not fucking lonely and lost.”
“Right, because all of those people really care about you, about who you are. They don’t, and you know it. They flock to you because you’re rich, and the press love you.”
James walked back and slammed his glass down on the coffee table. “I do not need you to come here and try to fix me.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” But the anger and bitterness he’d felt for so long towards this man wasn’t as strong as it had been. Regardless of what he said, James was lonely. He’d kept this secret all these years to protect Sloan from the truth because he thought it would hurt him. And, in the end, he’d hurt himself more.
James might think he had everything, but he didn’t. Sloan did. He had Kinley. And he realized the anger he’d been holding onto all these years was more about James deserting him than any role he’d played in Sarah’s death.
“I’m happy now, James. I have Kinley. She’s more than I deserve, but I’m not letting her go. Not again.”
“Good for you,” James muttered.
“I’ve moved on. You need to do the same.”
“I have,” James said stiffly.
“You talking about the different blonde on your arm each weekend?”
He’d seen Kinley looking at the society section of the paper and magazines. Seen James glower into the camera while his current fling smiled and basked in the limelight.
“My love life has nothing to do with you.”
Maybe not anymore, but he felt like he owed the other man something. Later, Sloan would go over everything with Kinley. Let her coax him into talking things out, including how he felt about Sarah and James. She insisted on talking about emotional stuff, and he indulged her.
But for now, here, he needed to do something to help James.
“Are you still involved in the BDSM scene?”
James frowned, looking puzzled. “Yeah, why?”
“Kinley and I belong to Club Decadence.”
“I’ve heard of it.”
“You should come have a look. Maybe find a sub of your own.”