“That’s not enough to build a relationship on.”
“I realize that now. Back then . . .” he sighed. “You forget who raised me. The old bastard would have cut off his hand before he gave me a kind word or a pat on the back. I was lucky if he remembered I was even alive. I liked that she brought a softness to our lives. That she gave us a focus. I also liked that it tied you to me.”
“What?”
“I didn’t work it out until later. I have this fear of people leaving me. No doubt a therapist would have a field day. You were the only person I ever loved who loved me back. I would have welcomed the devil into our home to keep you. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that’s exactly what I’d done until it was too late.”
“Sarah wasn’t the devil.”
“She was stealing from me.”
Sloan rocked back as though he’d been hit. “What do you mean, stealing? You set her up with her own account. She had plenty of funds, she didn’t need to steal.”
“She managed to get into the computer in my home office. She stole information on bids and gave them to one of my competitors. Took me a while to figure out it was her. My tech guy set a trap. I changed all my passwords but left the way open for the old ones to still be used, and when they were, it set off an alarm. Imagine my surprise when it was my home computer that pinged.”
“So, you knew it was one of us? It could have been the housekeeper or the gardener.”
“I knew it wasn’t you,” James said with conviction. “But you’re right, it didn’t mean Sarah was guilty. It wasn’t until I caught her red-handed that I was fully convinced. I told her about a big bid I was putting together. She didn’t realize it was all fake, or that I had cameras recording her accessing my computer and downloading the bid.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” Sloan asked.
“Because I wanted to be absolutely certain. I needed proof. This happened when you were away. I did that on purpose, so I could confront her while you weren’t there. That backfired on me.”
“You didn’t tell me after.”
James eyed him steadily. “You left and wouldn’t take my calls. I didn’t have any idea where you were.”
“Like you couldn’t have hired someone to find me.” He didn’t realize until he said the words he’d been hurt by the fact James hadn’t followed him.
How messed up was that? Sloan prided himself on being upfront, on not playing games, yet wasn’t that exactly what he’d done?
“I did. But by then I realized all I was going to do was blemish a dead woman’s reputation. And I’d come off looking like the bad guy no matter what.”
“So, you just stayed silent all these years?”
James took a sip of his drink. “Even though she was lying. Even though she used me, used both of us, she was still your wife. And it was still my fault she died. The two of you might have been happy on your own. You might have been better off starting again, without me holding you back.”
Sloan stilled. “What happened that night?”
“You sure you want to know?”
No. “Yes.”
James nodded. “I confronted her. Told her the game was up. That I knew what she was doing. I expected her to deny it. I thought she might cry and plead. I didn’t expect bitterness and anger.”
“Why? Why’d she do it?” He didn’t get it. Between the two of them they’d given her everything, or he thought they had.
“She did it because she hated me and because she was having an affair with Lyle Jacks.”
His heart froze then beat rapidly again. “An affair?”
“Yes.” James ran his hand over his face. “You think after all these years telling you would be easy, but it sucks as much as I thought it would. I never wanted to hurt you, Sloan. And that’s the other reason I kept quiet. Why I stayed away. You had happy memories of her, of your time together.”
“But you didn’t. Because you never loved her.”
“I think I could have come to love her if she’d ever felt the same towards me that she did you.”
“She cheated on me, she can’t have cared that much about me.”