I instantly sucked in air and held my breath. This was it. Now was the time. The moment I had been waiting for. To finally confess my love for Blake to our family.
“Dad, I—”
“No, of course not,” Blake interrupted and laughed nervously as he sat up. “Tayia came in and saw that I was upset about Grandma . . .” When his voice trailed off, my father filled the silence.
“Yes, yes, I see. Well, Charlene will certainly be missed.” He stared into the distance reflectively. “I suppose it would be good for everyone to get out of the house for a little while. We’ll see you both downstairs in a bit, hmm?” He turned and disappeared into the hall, leaving the door wide open. As his footsteps faded down the staircase, I turned to Blake with fury.
“What the hell just happened?” I whisper-yelled.
“We almost got caught. That’s what,” he whisper-yelled back as he stood and immediately started pacing in front of the window. “Shit. Shit. Shit.”
My insides began to grow cold. “I thought we were going to tell them, Blake. You promised.”
“Are you insane right now, Tayia? After everything that’s happened? Do you really think now is a good time?” The reality was that it probably wasn’t, but would there ever be a good time?
“So, what are you saying?” I asked as I swung my legs over the side of the bed. “Are we just not going to say anything to them?” Blake ran a frustrated hand over his face then through his hair but didn’t answer. His unspoken words revealed the truth I knew deep down inside. He never planned to say anything.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Come on, Tay. My grandmother just died. My mother is a wreck.”
“I get it,” I called over my shoulder as I walked to the door. I knew the timing was horrible, but selfishly, I still wanted him to stick to our plan. To want what we have together despite it all.
“Jesus, why does everything have to be about this?”
“You mean us?” I spun around. “Why does everything have to be about us?”
His eyes held mine, and I knew he wanted to say something but just couldn’t find the words. He loved me. I was certain of it, but there was always something standing in our way. Our family, Lucy, and even the town we lived in. It wasn’t his fault that we just weren’t meant to be. It was time I accepted that it was impossible to be together.
“It doesn’t have to be about us, Blake. Not anymore.”
When I left the room, my lungs felt like they were going to explode as I held back tears of disappointment and despair. Every part of me wanted to resist, to fight against the inevitable, but it was a lot harder to do that all by myself.
Shouldn’t he be fighting for us, too?
Chapter Fifteen
“I don’t know how somebody can just lie like that and not think they’re gonna catch on fire.” Ms. Annette tsked with a hand on her hip, examining the jukebox.
“What’s wrong, darlin’?” Mr. Hal asked as he walked up to stand beside her.
“This dang thing was supposed to be fixed.”
“Let me take a look . . .” Her husband stepped forward to help but was interrupted.
“No, no, I’ve got this.” She punched a few buttons on her cellphone and put it to her ear. “Hoyt Abernathy! This is Annette Fox. Yeah, the one you just swindled three hundred bucks out of.” She paced the floor and waved her free hand around as she gave the man on the other end an earful.
“Uh huh. Yes, it’s plugged in. You think I’m some kind of ninny? What? Where . . .? Back here? Oh, I see.” She reached behind the jukebox, flipped the switch, and instantly the machine lit up. Ms. Annette's cheeks turned a deep shade of pink as Mr. Hal shook his head at her before walking away. “Well, I’ll be. Yeah, uh, sorry about all that. Come in tomorrow and I’ll fix you one of those bacon and egg sandwiches you like so much. On the house. Okay, Hoyt. Merry Christmas, ya hear? Bye bye now.”
My dad, Maggie, and Grandpa were seated at the table near the Christmas tree quietly dining while Blake sat at the bar sipping something brown in a small glass with ice. He and I hadn’t spoken since we left the house. I rode in the car with our parents and he drove himself to Catch. I knew my dad was suspicious, though he never said anything. I wasn’t sure if I was grateful for his silence or frustrated by it. It was hell keeping the secret inside sometimes. How could something so obvious and undeniable go undetected by everyone else? I had half a mind to tell our parents anyway and worry about the consequences later. The only drawback would be that it would force Blake’s hand. Once everything was out in the open, he could no longer deny what we had, and I didn’t want him that way. It had to come honestly and from his heart. That was the only way it would be right.
As the commotion died down, Jonna’s mother moved to chat with my dad and Maggie. Harley refilling my water glass brought me out of my thoughts.
“Thanks, but you don’t have to do that. Why don’t you sit down and have something to eat?”
“Nah.” She shook her head and looked around but didn’t move. I sensed that something was up with her.
“Is everything all right, Harley?” I asked, knowing that she probably wouldn’t confide in me, but was surprised when she motioned with her hand before spinning around and disapp