I reached down and grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at him. He immediately let go of my arm and reached down to gather ammunition to fire back at me. I did my best to get as far away from him as my impractical boots would allow without busting my ass on the hard ground. A burst of cold snow hit the back of my head and settled into the collar of my coat.
“Blake!” I screamed and turned around to see him gathering more snow, so I did the same. I did my best to pelt him with as much as possible to delay his efforts of making gigantic snowballs that sometimes had the power to knock me off my feet on impact. The streets were empty besides a few people leaving the restaurant and a small convenience store at the corner, and I knew we were causing way too much commotion for this quiet section of town.
My fingers burned, and my thighs were completely frozen by the time I decided to abandon the snowball fight and tackle him instead. I managed to push him enough so that his feet lost traction and he fell into the snow-covered grass, pulling me down with him. Laughing, we landed together with a heavy thud.
“Okay. Okay. I give up,” I gasped. “I can’t feel my fingers.” A gust of cold air blew up the back of my short coat that didn’t provide much protection. “Or my ass.” I was still lying on top of Blake when his hands instantly went to my backside where he began to rub, trying to warm my numb cheeks.
“Like I said, fashionable but impractical.” He smirked and I couldn’t look away from his face. Those ocean blue eyes were always my undoing. My gaze traveled down his features, and I couldn’t resist moving my hips under his hands. I watched the smile leave his lips. It felt like our faces were getting closer, or maybe I was imagining it.
We both jumped when a car alarm sounded behind us. I turned my head to see that it was Blake’s car lighting up and making loud noises. He quickly sat up, dug into his pocket, pulled out his keys, and then hit the button that silenced the alarm. I shifted off him and stood there shivering, although I didn’t think the snow had much to do with the rea
son my body was shaking.
“Let’s get in and warm up,” Blake said as he grabbed my hand and we got into the car. He cranked up the heat, turned on the radio, and pulled away from the restaurant.
Neither of us initiated conversation on the way back to the cabin, and I was grateful. All I could do was replay the last few minutes in my head and how I almost embarrassed myself by kissing him. I also wouldn’t have been able to handle his rejection, although I knew it would be justified.
The closer we got to the cabin, the heavier the snow fell. Soon, it was hard to see more than a few feet in front of us as the wipers swished rapidly to clear away the quickly falling snow. After walking into the cabin, we discovered that the power was out. Blake walked to the breaker box and tried the switches but was unsuccessful at getting anything to turn back on. It wasn’t much of a surprise. We’d occasionally lost electricity out here during snowstorms due to a collapsed power line from a fallen tree limb or someone spinning out on the icy roads and crashing into a pole.
“I’ll get a fire started,” Blake said before heading outside to the wood pile on the porch. After making several trips, he used the logs he’d gathered to build a fire. I curled up on the floor with my feet under me as I silently watched him work. Once the flames began and he was satisfied with his creation, Blake set aside the poker and replaced the screen. “It should warm up in here soon.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.
“Mom just messaged me and said they decided to turn back to the city but will drive up tomorrow after the snow has stopped.” I nodded and slowly started taking off my coat.
“Are you all right, Tay?”
I nodded again without looking up as I undid the last button before tossing the coat onto a nearby armchair. So many emotions were running through me that I couldn’t express what I was feeling. I was ashamed, and my heart ached for what could never be.
“I’m sorry,” Blake said as he ran a hand through his hair and started pacing.
Taken aback, I shot a confused glance his way. “Sorry for what, Blake?”
“Because I . . . when we . . . I don’t know.” He stopped speaking and abruptly walked out of the room. I heard a door close somewhere in the house and it only added to my confusion.
“Blake?” I called his name into the darkness but got no response. “Blake?” Still nothing.
I sat there for a while staring at the flames, unsure of what just happened and why he would storm off, but honestly, it was hard to care when I was wallowing in my own self-pity. I looked around the place and was glad for the quiet.
Normally, the house would be alive with activity. Blake, Dad, Maggie, Grandpa, and I would be involved in a highly competitive game of some kind while the smell of Grandma’s pies filled the air. It was almost as if we were the perfect family. Almost.
Though I would have never admitted it out loud, I had some leftover resentment toward my dad for marrying Blake’s mom. Maggie had tried hard to be a mother to me, but I refused to call her Mom, and she never pushed me to. Don’t get me wrong, I was glad to see my dad happy and I knew he deserved it. For nine years, it had been just the two of us. My biological mother died of a heart condition when I was only three years old. Dad told me her health had declined so fast that there wasn’t anything that could be done.
Dad spoiled me and treated me like a princess. I think part of it was to compensate for being gone for work a lot. He’d also made sure I spent plenty of time with his sister, Bridget. He would take me to see her at the library where she worked. Sometimes he would leave me there while he ran errands or did whatever it was that he did back in those days. Aunt Bridget used to sit me in a chair behind the counter with a big pile of books, where I remained for many contented hours.
When Dad found Maggie, it was at a time when I needed a mother, so I was grateful to have her in my life. It had always been hard to not have a mom, but when a girl starts to reach her teen years, things get very confusing and dads aren’t much help with explaining it all.
I didn’t dislike Maggie. I just didn’t like that Blake’s mother had to marry my dad, thus crushing my hope of ever being with the boy I loved. Even at twelve years old, I knew that I wanted him to be mine one day. As I stood across from him at the altar while our parents exchanged wedding vows, I accepted the harsh reality that what I wanted and what was possible were two separate things.
Chapter Six
Something soft touched my skin and instantly warmed me. When I opened my eyes, Blake was placing the comforter from my bed on top of me. I hadn’t realized that I’d fallen asleep on the floor in front of the fireplace. There was a slight chill in the air because the flames had died down, so Blake set to work on rebuilding the fire.
The house was still dark and outside the window the snow was falling steadily. The only sound around us was the soft crackling of the flames mixed with the wind from outside. Blake stared blankly ahead as he poked the fire, his lips drawn tightly together and that dimple on his cheek made a welcomed appearance.
“Blake,” I said as I sat up while tugging the blanket closer around me. It really was quite cold in there. “Are you okay?” He jerked his head in a nod but didn’t speak as he backed away from the fire and sat with his legs bent and elbows resting on his knees. I could see the chill bumps across his forearms so I scooted closer and wrapped my blanket around him. He hesitated, and I thought for sure that he would back away. Instead, he gathered the material around his shoulders, and I let my body relax next to his.
“Blakey.” I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder while wrapping my arms around his waist. When my fingers skimmed the ridges of his abdomen over his T-shirt, he hissed and stiffened. “What’s wrong?” My heart sank as I lifted my face to look at him, and for the first time, I could smell that he’d been smoking, the droopiness of his eyelids confirming it.
“So many things, Tay.” He swallowed hard then wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close as I let myself melt against his side. We sat together, staring at the flames for a while until Blake got up and grabbed several large cushions from the couch so we could rest against them. I pushed away the feelings of guilt as I allowed myself to enjoy the moment and lie there alone with him.