Delicious aromas coming from the kitchen filled my nose and my mouth watered. Carmen went to the stove and started stirring the contents of a large pot.
"Go take care of the baby," Carmen said in Spanish as she shooed me away with the wooden spoon in her hand. "We will all eat when you are finished." Her English had gotten better over the years, but she often slipped into her native tongue; it was more comfortable for her. Ritchie and I knew the language well, so it worked out. Half English, half Spanish discussions were quite common. Bash had been learning both languages, too.
"Let's go, buddy." I gently poked Bash in the tummy with a wiggly finger until he squirmed and giggled. We left the kitchen and the heavenly smell of lunch behind.
Bash's eyes were drifting closed by the time he was dried and changed, so I laid him down for a nap. He protested when I tried to tiptoe away, so I curled up beside him and rubbed his damp hair as he nodded off.
I stared for a while at my perfect little boy, overcome with a love I never knew was possible. His unexpected entrance into my life had changed my world forever.
****
The gringa who knew nothing. That's what Miguel would call me. All the girls in Santicero swooned over him. He was rebellious and charming, yet at sixteen he still wore his heart on his sleeve. He lived in a small town close by, and yet far enough away that I was surprised to find him waiting for me every morning. He'd assumed the role of my protector. It took time to adjust to living in a foreign place, and so I'd clung to Miguel. He was the buffer between me and the strange new world I called home. It wasn't long before we declared our love for each other. We were sixteen and passionate. Everything felt like life or death. The power of first love, raging hormones, and teenage angst. The result was an epic storm fueled by bad choices. We expect to see lightning but forget about the thunder.
****
I came awake with a shudder and realized I'd fallen asleep. Slowly, I slid from the bed, careful not to make a sound. Bash shifted slightly but continued his peaceful slumber. I quietly went across the hall to my room and checked my phone for missed calls. Only a handful of people knew I'd left for a week. Besides my brother, Jamie, the Fox family knew. I'd been fortunate to find a job that would allow me to take time off every month, but I didn't share that I was going to Mexico, only that I had a family obligation I had to attend to frequently. They didn't pry, although the curiosity was there. Especially from Ms. Annette, the family matriarch. She could talk a hole in your head if you let her, but she would also give you her last breath if you needed it.
I absently scrolled through my call log, until one number stood out that I didn't recognize. It was a South Carolina area code, but there was no voice mail. No text. No indication of who the number belonged to and their reason for calling. Nothing. Just a missed call. My thumb hovered over the number, so tempted to push it. The longer I thought about it, the more I was convinced it was most likely a wrong number. Besides, as much as I wanted it to be Brando, he didn't even have my phone number. My thoughts had never felt so consumed by a man, not even with Miguel.
I took a quick shower and put on a loose sundress. The weather had been too warm for anything else. As promised, Carmen had steaming platters of food on the table.
Ritchie came down and joined us. We sat in silence while we ate. When I finally set my fork down, I'd been so full I could explode. I'd really missed Carmen's cooking.
"So." Ritchie pushed his plate away, his face turning grim. "We may as well get it over with." He hesitated. "I spoke to the lawyer."
"And?" My chest grew tight as I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't say it.
"He doesn't think there is anything he can do about the ban."
"What?" My body tensed at hearing my worst fears confirmed. "What do you mean?"
"Carina, he says legally moving back to Mexico isn't going to happen...at least not for a while." My heart sank.
"That can't be right." Though as much as I'd racked my
brain, I couldn't come up with anything. I wanted to come home.
"I'm afraid not."
Ritchie had sought out the most expensive lawyer in Mexico, and by all accounts, he was the best. He couldn't find a way around my deportation dilemma. The lawyer had been able to convince a judge to place Sebastian with Ritchie and Carmen, and that was all the progress he'd made. Granted, it had not been an easy task. My legal troubles hadn't cast me in a very favorable light, but at least I didn't have to worry that my son would grow up in some sort of Mexican orphanage. Not that it would matter much to his father.
"Goddammit, I should have shot the son of a bitch when I had to chance." My father pounded his fist on the arm of the chair.
"Ritchie!" Carmen gasped, pointing to the ceiling. "The baby. Language."
He grumbled under his breath as he pushed away from the table. The door to the patio slid closed with enough force to rattle the house.
To his credit, Ritchie had always been anti-Miguel. I was just too stupid to listen to him.
****
Miguel said he would marry me someday. Eventually, the boy who wore his heart on his sleeve had transformed into a man. It wasn't just his physical features that had changed. Jealousy had become an issue. Miguel was suspicious of every male in Santicero. Once he caught me walking home with a boy after school. We were only friends, but Miguel didn’t believe me. After he punched the poor unsuspecting boy in the face, I broke up with him. I lay in bed that night and bawled my eyes out. It felt like my heart would actually crack in two pieces. The next morning I woke to discover that Miguel had climbed into my bedroom window. His eyes were crazed. Anger and aggression flew off him in waves. He demanded I apologize for breaking up with him. It was the first time I'd ever been afraid of Miguel, but it wouldn't be the last.
The heated scene ended with Ritchie and his unloaded shotgun forcing Miguel out of the house through the same window he'd climbed in. After that Miguel was not to be anywhere near the house. But I loved him, and so I began lying to Ritchie and sneaking around. What I didn't know was that Miguel was already on a path to self-destruction.
****
I was sitting outside on the patio, while Sebastian scooted around on his tricycle and Tito had his head in my lap as I scratched behind his ears. Ritchie appeared on the stone path that led from the garage with his phone to his ear.