"Don't you get it, Brando?" My cheeks grew hot with anger and with fists curled at my sides I sent the final blow. "I just want you to stay away from me. Please. Forget I ever existed."
"What?" His face contorted in different ways as he processed my words. Confusion transformed to hurt, then hurt became rage. The silent but deadly kind. When his composure returned, he lifted his chin. "Fine," he said sharply, picked up his sketch, then stormed to his car. I was in full sprint toward the stairs behind the restaurant when his massive car engine roared to life. He'd taken off so fast I couldn't tell if it was him or me who wanted to put the most distance between us.
CHAPTER NINE
Brando
My breaths were becoming harder to draw. My lungs felt ready to explode, but I kept moving. I needed to be rid of her, to get her out of my head. The trees blew in the wind and ripples danced along the water as I ran along the bay.
I just want you to stay away from me. Please. Forget I ever existed.
Those words played over and over in my mind. Being with Carina was the one thing I would never forget.
My first hard lesson on women came at eighteen. It was the summer after graduation when my high school girlfriend, Darcy, had shown up at the house in full-on
rage. She started smashing in the windows of my old pickup, the one I'd saved every penny I earned flipping burgers at a shitty fast food joint downtown. It took both Mack and me to wrestle the tire iron out of her hands before she could do any more damage. The entire time she screamed that I was a liar, over and over. Darcy had overheard some rumors that turned out to be partially true. I'd been planning to break things off with her for a while, but at that age, I was too much of a pussy to do it. Maybe I was kind of hoping she'd end it first. Either way, we were most definitely over after that. I made the decision right then and there if that was what happened when you got caught lying to a woman, I'd never do it again.
A liar was the one thing no woman could ever accuse me of being after that. An asshole? Sometimes. Selfish? A little. Heartless? Never. Even when their eyes begged me to say things they wanted to hear, I refused. I never made promises I couldn't keep, never expressed feelings that weren't genuine, and I wouldn't go anywhere near those three words that could give more power than I was prepared to lose.
Why? Because love was unfair, and it fought dirty.
Instead, I figured out how to navigate the battlefield. To appreciate love without participating in it. To make love without having to give it.
All of that had been working out quite well for me until I laid eyes on a gorgeous redhead with a permanent scowl.
Everything I thought I knew about women and myself had vanished. All that enlightenment and self-control nonsense hadn't amounted to shit.
Carina had changed everything I thought I believed in and what I wanted in my life.
The irony of it all was that I'd fucked around and fallen for the one person who didn't want anything to do with me.
My legs burned as I forced my body just a few more feet, just around the corner, the driveway in sight. I slowed to a walk as soon as I reached the mailbox.
"Shit." I panted, looking at my watch. Six miles. It was a lot longer than I intended to run, but my mind had been so cloudy with feelings and shit that I was hoping a long hard run would clear my head. I tried to focus on the ache in my legs instead of the one in my chest. I paced the driveway for a few minutes, pulling in air and waiting for my heart rate to slow down.
"Hey," Mack said when I stepped into the garage. "You made it back. I was about to send out a search party." He chuckled, wiping black grease from his hands. Mack was always in the garage, tinkering under the hood of one of his cars. Except he hadn't been working on a car.
"Since when do you collect bikes?" I nodded to the shell of a black Harley Davidson, most of its parts lying in pieces on the concrete floor.
"I don't." Mack shrugged. "It's an experiment," he said, then picked up one of the parts and started looking it over.
"I talked to Ma the other day," I said over my shoulder as I grabbed a water from the mini fridge.
"Really? How much did she want?" He cut right to the chase, knowing our mother just as well as I did.
"Eight."
"Eight hundred?"
"No, eight grand."
"Shiiit." He stretched the word out. "What the hell did she need it for this time?"
"Don't know. She skipped over that and went straight for the guilt trip." I cracked open the plastic bottle and gulped the water down like a man who had been lost in the desert for three days. I made that water bottle my bitch. It was cold and wet. Like rain pouring down over Carina's trembling face...
"Take it easy, man. You all right?" Mack slapped me on the back a couple of times as I coughed and choked on a mouthful of water. I looked over to find him studying me with a glint in his eyes. "She's got your head all fucked up, doesn't she?" Then he threw his head back and howled with laughter. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and scowled at him.
"Shut the fuck up," I grumbled. "I'll kick your ass." Though I knew he wasn't intimidated by me. He used to kick my ass daily when we were kids. Despite our shitty upbringing, we'd always been close. He was my big brother. My best friend and the only real family I could count on no matter what.