His hands softly cupped her face. “Always.”
He carried her up the stairs as if she were a precious gift. When he laid her on the bed, his eyes never left hers as he removed their clothes. Soft kisses pressed into her flesh, waking her heart and sending it into the clouds with every heavenly touch.
Her body writhed under each caress, slowly unraveling. His strong hands held her through every ripple of pleasure, and when her body quaked in completion, he kissed her, whispering how beautiful she was.
Tears wet her lashes when he filled her. The intimacy stole her breath as he waited for her to adjust, never once taking his stare away from her face.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.” Her knee hooked over his hip, and she kissed him.
Slowly, he rocked into her, his shoulders bunching with muscle as his body flexed over hers. Her breath hitched the deeper he drove, and her mind tumbled into a swirling majesty of pleasure.
She clung to him, needing and wanting the closeness she spent so long fearing. Every caress of his skin seemed to sew up an old wound. Her heart swelled and ached like a muscle strained.
As he drew closer to his release, he kissed her neck, finding her ears and sending chills down her spine. Her toes curled into the blankets, and her nails dragged down his back. He moaned against her throat, his strokes quickening and driving deeper. She cried out, her own pleasure a direct result of his.
Shoulders shaking, he dropped his head to her chest. She cradled him close to her and kissed his temple. As he curled into her, wrapping his arms around her body and pressing their bodies closer, she considered that this might be the first time in her life she made love to a man.
Everything was different. The unspoken significance loomed over both of them. Did he know that it would be like that? Was it like that for him with other women? She had no comparison, because it was so very different from all her times with Nash.
He kissed her cheek and rolled to his side, still holding her tight and spoke her exact thoughts, “I’ve never felt anything like that before.”
She turned to look at him, relieved and hoping his statement was true and not some nonsense men spout after climaxing. “Really?”
He nodded. “That was … intense.”
Her throat tightened around a lump, and her vision blurred. “It was perfect.”
He pushed the hair away from her eyes and kissed her nose. “I thought so, too.”
They fell asleep in each other’s arms, and when they woke, they made love again. When the sun came up, she considered sneaking out and going home to make coffee and do her usual morning routine, but something kept her next to him. It was the first time she intentionally chose not to visit the cemetery. And it was the first time she didn’t feel guilty for putting herself first.
Chapter 36
“The worst part about not moving to New Jersey is that I have to stay in this small town, where everyone knows my humiliation. I can’t even get my coffee at the café anymore, because that’s where she works.” Perrin scoffed and sipped the cup of subpar coffee Maggie had made her. “Did she have to be so damn gorgeous?”
Remembering the day she thought Mariella might be one of Ryan’s exes, she sympathized. “Just remember that she was as much the victim as you. He’s the asshole.”
“Oh, I know he’s the asshole. And I’m making sure everyone else knows, too.”
Maggie didn’t think revenge was the healthiest approach, but who was she to tell someone how to cope with trauma? “I know a good therapist.”
Perrin rolled her eyes. “No.”
Maggie laughed, also remembering how hard Perrin had insisted therapy would help, which it had. “Maybe you just need to say screw him.”
“I wish that did the trick. I tell myself I’m better off finding out what a creep he is now, rather than marrying him and living a lie, but then I think about how stupid he made me look and I feel like such a fool.”
“You’re not the first woman to get cheated on, Perrin.”
“I know. I’ve been reading all these affirmations trying to feel better. No setback will ever be as big as your comeback,” she said in mock agreement and stuck out her tongue. “But I don’t have a comeback. He still gets to move away into a beautiful house and start a life where no one knows how much of a scumbag he is. And I get to keep living with my parents and washing hair at the salon.”
“So, move out of Mom and Dad’s and look for a new job if that will make you feel better.”
“Where? Getting paid from somewhere a few doors down on Main Street isn’t going to really change anything. At least at the salon I get to talk to people.”