What he said took me off guard. I blinked in surprise, not knowing what to say. He gave self-deprecating chuckle. “Oh, come on. You have to know I’ve always had a crush on you.”
I stiffened. What the hell was he talking about? “Um, no, I didn’t know that,” I whispered. How could I? We’d barely spoken up until recently. Not since we were kids. Had his crush started back then?
Kean self-consciously dragged a foot through the sand. “I thought it was obvious. Whenever I see you, I get this big stupid smile.” He pointed to his face. “See? I’m doing it right now. I can’t help it.”
My pulse sped as a few things fell into place. “When you say you never shut up talking about me to Sally, exactly how long has that been going on?”
“Now you’re just trying to embarrass me,” he said, cheeks red.
He didn’t have to say anything else, because I saw his answer right there. Suddenly, Sally’s attitude made sense. She had a crush on Kean, probably for years, while he’s been harbouring a crush on me and telling her all about it. No wonder she hated me so much.
“What’s that look about?” he asked.
I shook my head, unable to hold back a quiet laugh. “It’s nothing, just … Sally’s had it in for me for years, and now I finally know why.”
“She’s had it in for you?”
“Yes, she’s horrible to me at school, and it’s all because of you. She’s jealous.”
Kean’s hands shot up. “Hey, now. I don’t know about—”
“Think about it,” I said, eyeing him. “Why else would she hate me so much?”
He went quiet, his expression thoughtful, then he swore, “Fuck, Estella, I’m so sorry.” He reached out to touch my arm. I grew awkward, feeling guilty that I didn’t like him back. Not anymore. It didn’t fill me with joy to know he’d fancied me for years. Instead I just felt uncomfortable since my own affections lay elsewhere. How could I let him down gently?
“How can I make it up to you?” Kean asked, stepping closer.
“Sally’s behaviour isn’t your fault. There’s nothing to make up,” I told him, moving away.
He glanced down at the distance I’d put between us, like it confused him. I guess he’d never had his advances rejected before. Still, he powered on. “Can we start over? I’d like to take you out on a proper date.”
I stared at him, a lump forming in my throat. He looked so hopeful and I didn’t know what to say.
“Estella,” a familiar voice called. Noah stood on the stone steps that led down to the beach. He glanced from me to Kean, and I thought I saw his jaw tick. He had no clue how relieved I was for the interruption. I looked between the two of them, dark and light. It was just my luck that I was far more entranced by Noah’s darkness than Kean’s light.
“The guests will be arriving soon. I need you back at the house,” Noah said, his tone firm. Then he turned and walked back up the steps.
“Your uncle seems strict,” Kean said.
“He’s not my uncle. He’s just Veronica’s brother.”
“Oh, okay, well—”
“Look, Kean,” I said, biting the bullet. “I don’t think I can go out with you. I don’t like you that way.”
The hurt on his face was like a wallop to the chest. I hated myself for rejecting him, but I had far too many complicated feelings for Noah to even consider going out with Kean. And besides, I was leaving soon. There was no point starting anything new.
“Oh,” he whispered, his shoulders slumping. He looked like a crestfallen fairy tale prince, and yet I still felt no attraction. What was wrong with me?
“Can we at least be friends?” Kean asked, his eyes hopeful.
“We can try,” I said with a kind smile, glancing in the direction Noah had gone. “Listen, I have to go,” I said, giving Sparky one last pet on the head.
“Yeah, okay,” he replied glumly. “Bye, Estella.”
When I entered the house, Noah stood in the kitchen sampling some of the charcuterie I’d put together. I hip checked him away. “Hands off. This is for your guests.”
Before I could react, he crowded me against the counter, his mouth at my ear. “What did your little boyfriend want?”
I tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t budge. “Nothing. He was walking his dog. Will you move?”
I stared him down, and he stared right back. He appeared to be enjoying this, whatever this was. Self-awareness and tension pervaded the room.
“Do you want me to stay out of the way tonight?” I asked quietly.
He tilted his head. “Why would I want that?”
“Vee always made me stay in my room whenever she and Dad had company.”
“Go wherever you want. I won’t stop you. In fact, feel free to join us. It could be educational. I bet you’ve never seen a dickhead lubricate a bunch of arseholes before.”