To thank him, I crafted an ashtray out of the seashells he’d collected and left it on his nightstand while he was out. He’d probably think it silly, but I didn’t have anything else to give. Plus, he did smoke a lot.
He also started to keep his distance. I wasn’t sure if it was simply because he was busy with his new job, or if it was because we’d gotten too close. Maybe he’d come to the conclusion that he didn’t have time for me. Whatever his reason for being here, it wasn’t to become involved with his sister’s stepdaughter. I was an outlier. Something he hadn’t planned for.
Despite this separation, the tension mounted between us. Each day it thickened and evolved. Whenever we were in the same room, there were so many words left unspoken. I felt them drift on the air, like little ticking time bombs waiting to explode.
I kept the phone a secret from Vee, for obvious reasons. I didn’t trust her not to confiscate it out of spite. I had a whole new lease of life being able to text Aoife and Jimmy, and being able to research things online.
I decided I would study Psychology and the Philosophy of Religion as part of an Arts degree at college, and I had been discussing my options with Sister Dorothy. She was pleasantly surprised by my choice to study religion. I told her about Noah gifting me all those religious books, which lit a fire in my brain to learn more, my thirst for the subject never-ending.
My nightmares still terrorised me, but in a weird way I’d gotten used to the torture. Now that I knew it was sleep paralysis and not some kind of ghostly possession, I managed to get through each bout as it came.
I often saw Kean hanging around outside the school. He looked a little sad when we made eye contact, apologetic even, but he never tried to approach me. I guess if he wanted to be ruled by peer pressure then so be it.
On the Sally front, I was pretty sure Principal Hawkins had a strict word with her, because she pretended like I didn’t exist now, which was fine by me.
When I arrived home from school one Friday evening, Noah was standing out front talking to Kean’s dad, Enda. They seemed to be getting on well, laughing and joking about something. I wished I could hear what they were saying. When they finished talking, they shook hands, and Enda walked back down the street towards his house.
“Are you watching me, little spy?” Noah questioned, a smile in his voice.
My skin prickled. How had he known I was there? He hadn’t even turned around yet. Noah had eyes on the back of his head it seemed. “Nope. Just minding my own business,” I responded.
His smile grew as he turned to face me. “Go drop your bag inside and come back out.”
My chest fluttered. “Why?”
“I’m giving you your first driving lesson.”
Excitement filled me. After all these weeks of distance, I thought he’d forgotten about teaching me how to drive. I quickly dropped my bag in the entryway then hurried back out. Noah seemed to have taken full possession of Vee’s car because he was using it all the time now. Not that she noticed. She’d become much more withdrawn in recent weeks, which was odd because I thought the birthday party had brought her out of her shell. It seemed to have the opposite effect, and despite the way she treated me, I was concerned for her. Spending most of the day in your bedroom drinking and talking to yourself was not the habit of a healthy individual.
I hopped into the passenger seat, and Noah took off, bringing us to the empty car park across from the church at the top of the town. It was only ever full during mass.
We got out of the car, passing by one another as we switched places. I slid into the driver’s seat, still warm from him sitting in it. I put on my seatbelt and pulled the seat up since my legs were significantly shorter than Noah’s.
“Okay,” he said, leaning close to point out the pedals near my feet. “The pedal farthest to your left is the clutch, the one in the middle is the break and the one on the right is the accelerator.”
“Clutch, break, accelerator. Got it,” I said.
He reached over me, and I was accosted by his heady ocean scent. He turned the key in the ignition, and the engine hummed to life. I couldn’t tell if it was the vibration from that or the urge to press my nose into his skin and inhale, but I began to feel light-headed.
Okay, definitely the latter.
He didn’t move back into his own seat, instead staying close. So close it was hard to focus on the instructions he gave. “Press your foot down on the clutch.” I glanced at the pedals and did as he instructed. “Now shift the gear stick left, and then up to go into first.”