“Wh-what are you doing out here?”
“I smoke out here.”
I wrinkled my face. “Why? Vee smokes in the house all the time.”
“Sometimes I prefer to come outside. It’s more refreshing,” Noah replied.
“I think the act of smoking is the opposite of refreshing,” I countered. “It’s a very unhealthy habit.”
“If you knew what I’ve been though, you’d forgive me the vice.”
I studied him now, realising that, like me, he’d had a bit to drink. Right then he seemed untamed, and I had the momentary urge to flee. But I wouldn’t do that.
No, I was far too enraptured to act sensibly.
“Tell me what you’ve been through,” I whispered so quietly it was almost lost on the wind.
Noah took several steps until he stood directly before me. Reaching out, he caught my chin, his thumb brushing the underside of my jaw. “Why? Do you want to kneel down and say a prayer for me, Estella?”
His voice was sinful, and I shuddered at his question. “I just want to understand you.”
He shook his head. “I wouldn’t utter such things to innocent ears.”
“I’m not innocent,” I said, lost in his eyes.
“Only the innocent protest their innocence,” he replied. His hand moved from my chin to cup my entire jaw. I inhaled sharply, goose bumps rising on my skin.
“Is the party over?” I asked, swaying toward him slightly.
“Yes,” he answered, his voice thick with something I couldn’t quite discern.
“Do you like how I look tonight?” I went on, tipsiness eradicating my filter.
There was a long pause before he murmured, “I like how you look all the time. That’s the problem.”
“Why is it a problem?”
“Because you’re not meant for me,” he said, somewhat mournfully.
I gazed up at him, and our breaths mingled. I couldn’t help staring at his mouth. “Why can’t I be?” I must’ve had a terribly needy expression on my face because Noah looked at me sadly. All I wanted in that moment was to kiss him. It was an urge I suddenly realised I’d been suppressing for a while.
His thumb brushed my lower lip. “You just can’t.”
I pouted. “That’s not a reason.”
“It’s the only one I have to give you.”
“I want you,” I whispered desperately. If I were sober, I’d never admit such a thing. Something hot and needful blazed in Noah’s eyes. His mouth moved to my ear, and I felt his warm breath hit my skin. “Go to your room then. Touch yourself. Think of me.”
I trembled, lowering my gaze. I couldn’t look at him. I’d never felt so embarrassed and aroused in my life. I squeezed my thighs together, unable to move as he pressed a quick, barely-there kiss to the underside of my jaw and stepped away. Without another word, he turned and walked back to the house. I stood frozen in place, feeling so incredibly alive. He’d barely touched me, but I felt him everywhere.
I allowed myself a minute before I went to my room. I’d never admit it, but I did exactly as he told me.
***
“I heard you two tried to hang out with us at the castle on Saturday night, and Kean Riordan kicked you out,” Sally snickered with satisfaction as we stood in the gym, the P.E. teacher instructing us to jog on the spot.
“He didn’t kick us out,” Aoife responded, slightly out of breath. “We left of our own accord.”
“If that’s what you want to believe,” Claire added snidely. The two of them stood directly behind us, flanked by their minions. I was trying my best to ignore them because I was exhausted and cranky, and I feared I might finally snap. I’d had terrible nightmares all weekend, barely getting a wink of sleep.
This morning I came to school early so I could spend some time on the computers in the library before class began. I’d printed out a bunch of information about sleep paralysis and planned to read it later today when I got home.
“Kean also mentioned something about you, Estella,” Sally said, and my hackles rose. I wished I could ignore her, but the destructive side of me wanted to hear what she had to say.
“What did he say?” I asked in a low voice.
“Oh, just how you two are neighbours, and you’re always following him around like a lovesick puppy. Did you come to the castle to stalk him? Because that’s pathetic, even for you. Someone like Kean would never be interested in you.”
I wasn’t sure if it was her cruel tone or the fact that Kean had lied about me, but in that moment, I wasn’t in full control of my actions. As if possessed by a demon, anger took over me. I turned around and smacked Sally right across the face. Her hand went to her cheek, and she stared at me in shock for several seconds before she came at me, grabbing my ponytail and yanking down hard. My scalp screamed in pain as she pulled, and my hands came up in defence. I pushed at her chest then reached up to pry her hands from my hair. A pained cry escaped me, but she wouldn’t let go. The students around us gasped in shock, some of them making noises of excitement that a fight had broken out.