On closer inspection, there was a note on top of them, and I recognised the sharp, erratic lines of Noah’s handwriting. Some reading material. So that you can make an informed decision. Yours, Noah.
I picked up the first book and saw it was a copy of The Quran. The rest included The Torah and The Talmud, The Dao de Jing, The Vedas and The Upanishads, alongside several others I hadn’t heard of before.
He’d given me a collection of sacred texts from different religions from around the world. Were these the same ones he’d claimed to have read? And more importantly, did he expect me to read them, too?
In a weird way, I was flattered that he thought I was smart enough to digest such works. I mean, I was, but I was used to being dismissed as a naïve, stupid teenager by Vee. It was nice to be respected for once, but I was still suspicious of kindnesses from Noah. I simply couldn’t tell if they were offered freely, or if there was some kind of hidden catch.
The books were well-worn, like they’d been thumbed through and read over and over again. The book lover in me was delighted to be given such a collection, but I didn’t know if Noah meant them as a gift or just a loan, so I was careful not to damage them. I looked at the titles, no clue where to start. On instinct, I picked up The Torah. It seemed like a good place to start, since I knew it overlapped with the Old Testament. I got comfortable on my bed, opened to the first page and started to read.
***
Several hours later my mind was a whirl. Noah was right. There was a lot to learn from other religions, and I’d barely broken the surface. People could be divided over such things, but the more I read, the more I saw the similarities we all shared, not the differences.
I was eager to discuss it all with Noah. I left my room and went upstairs in search of him, but when I knocked on his bedroom door, there was no answer. I opened it and peeked my head in, but the room was empty.
“What are you doing?”
My heart thudded as I turned around. Vee stood behind me in her long house coat. Her hair was like a scraggly bird’s nest on top of her head, her eyes blood shot. In her hands she held a litre of vodka, which she appeared to be drinking straight from the bottle.
“I was just, um …” I trailed off, no excuse forthcoming as to why I was outside Noah’s bedroom. Vee rolled her eyes, wobbling a little on her feet. She was drunk, and that made me nervous. Vee could be cruel when sober, but there was no knowing what kind of depravity she could resort to while intoxicated.
“Your boyfriend’s downstairs.”
“He’s not my—”
“He’s twenty-five years old. Did you know that? Your father would be turning in his grave if he knew you were out here, chasing older men.”
“I’m not chasing anyone.”
Another eye roll. “What do I care? You’re nothing to me. The only reason I let you stay here is out of respect to your dad. He was the only man who ever loved me. Too good for this world.”
My heart clenched when I saw a flicker of her grief. It was hard for me to reconcile Vee’s cruelty toward me with her obvious love for my father. “Well, that’s one thing we can agree on,” I whispered. Dad had definitely been too good for this world. Too good for Vee, too, but I didn’t mention that.
She brought her catty green eyes back to me. “You’re not good like him. You think you are, with all your Bible reading and going to church, but you aren’t. I see it in you. You’re exactly like me. Bitter and twisted.”
If I was bitter and twisted, then it was only because she made me that way. I didn’t think I was though. Not entirely. True, there was a part of me that enjoyed seeing her shaken when Noah kicked the bathroom door in. I’d felt vindicated, but that was only because of the years of emotional abuse she’d bestowed upon me. It was hard enough grieving for a parent, let alone when your stepmother went out of her way to make every single moment worse. Yes, I had a reason for wanting her to suffer, but she had no reason for wanting me to.
I levelled her with a firm look. “Vee, you’ve had too much to drink. You should go to bed.”
“Don’t use that tone with me,” she hissed. “And don’t tell me what to do. I’m the adult here. I tell you what to do.”
I frowned at her, struck with a sudden and unexpected bout of sympathy. Vee was a deeply troubled and unhappy person. I needed to keep reminding myself of that. It was why she treated me how she did. I thought of the birthday party Noah was organising. Vee was in no fit state for something like that. I honestly didn’t know what he was thinking putting it together in the first place.