“It’s not you,” he says quickly. “I just don’t know...”
I think for a moment. I’m exhausted and need to get some sleep soon, but I know my roommate will be an issue if we go back to my place, and I need to find a way to put Rocco’s mind at ease or else I’ll just be dropping him off. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want me to leave him any mor
e than I want to. Hell, he’s the one who said he wanted a label for all of this.
Hmm...
I place the tip of my finger just under his chin, tilting his head toward me gently.
“Rocco,” I say, making sure he’s looking at me so I have his full attention, “you are taking your girlfriend to stay at your place tonight, okay?”
Rocco’s eyes go wide as he hears the word, and I know immediately that I made the right decision. I don’t like the label, but considering his reaction, I’m glad I said it. Hearing me say it obviously means a lot more to him than my general aversion to labels means to me. I watch the corners of Rocco’s mouth twitch; he sighs and then smiles broadly.
“Yeah, okay,” he says. “Let’s go.”
“Good boy.” I run my hand over his cheek, kiss him briefly, and head back onto the road.
“Thank you,” he says quietly.
“You like the idea of a label.” I reach over and take his hand in mine.
“Yeah.”
“Why? What difference does it make how other people see us?”
“It’s not for them,” Rocco says softly. “It...it means more than just the rope and all.”
“Calling me your girlfriend makes it more than just about sex? Is that what you mean?”
“Yeah.”
“And that makes you happy?” I rub my thumb over his knuckles.
“Yeah.”
I sigh, reminding myself that one-word answers are better than nothing. At the beginning of the night, he was barely looking at my face and sometimes didn’t even manage to nod, so I’m not going to press. Hopefully, someday he’ll be able to form full sentences in response to my questions.
“I’m gonna crank the radio,” I say, releasing his hand. “Got any preferences?”
“Not really. I don’t listen to much music.”
“I just don’t want to fall asleep while driving,” I say. The radio comes on, blaring metal music. Before long, I pull into a student parking lot near the dorms.
“Lead the way,” I say, giving Rocco a quick smile.
“Over here.” Rocco leads me down a sidewalk and to the back door of the dorm. He looks up and down the corridor as if he’s afraid we’re going to get caught, and I can’t help but giggle.
“I don’t...I don’t want anyone saying anything,” he whispers.
“About what? Concerned someone will think I’m a prostitute?”
Rocco stops and looks at me, shaking his head wildly, and I laugh a second time. He blushes again, shakes his head, and takes me down the hall to his room. He opens the door and quickly closes it once we’re inside. My eyes begin to adjust to the low light, and I stare at everything around me, mouth open.
“Oh my god, Roc!”
Rocco cringes, and for a moment, he looks like he wants to cry. Realizing my mistake, I quickly grab his hand and pull him close to me.
“I love your place!”