“Yes, there is. I might be a virgin, but I’m not blind or deaf. I know guys are supposed to have more control than that. I’m...I’m supposed to last longer.”
“Oh, Rocco.” Casey lets out a long sigh.
“Cree told me...he said you wanted to do more than just tie me up. I know you aren’t looking for something like what I just did.”
“I do want more, but that’s not all of it. I told you, I want you to sub for me.”
“But that means you...you’ll want to...to have...” I stop and swallow hard, closing my eyes and trying to find the right words. “You want to have sex, and I didn’t last five seconds.”
“You’re going to have to try to be a little easier on yourself for this to work.”
“So, this isn’t working?” My chest tightens. I already know the answer, and I wonder if she’ll still be willing to drive me home or if I’ll have to catch a ride with Cree.
“Honestly, Rocco, I have no idea if it is or not.” Casey sighs again. “You are impossible to read. I know you’re upset with yourself, but I can’t figure out if it’s because I did something wrong or not.”
“You?” I turn my head to look at her face, trying to determine if she’s serious. “You didn’t do anything wrong—it was me.”
“Really? I thought maybe getting you naked and all that might have been too much, too fast. I mean, maybe you want to stay a virgin. Are you, like, saving yourself or something?”
“No.” I furrow my brow as I try to come up with a reasonable answer. “I just...don’t think about it, I guess. No one’s ever been interested in me, and frankly, I didn’t think that was going to change.”
“But it has changed.”
“Oh.” I don’t know what else to say.
The image of her on her knees in front of me goes through my head again. That leads to thoughts of my unexpected reaction, and it occurs to me that after all this mess, she might be trying to let me off easy. Cree’s used that term before when a rope bunny has become closer to him that he was expecting, and he needed to break things off with her. Maybe that’s what Casey means by saying things have changed.
“Do you want me to leave?” I ask softly.
“Why would I want you to leave?”
“You’re an experienced Domme,” I say with a shrug. “I would assume you’d rather be with someone who knows what you want than a...a...”
“A what?”
“A mess.”
“Rocco, I told you more than once that I want this. You being a mess isn’t going to deter me. In fact, it is part of what drew me to you in the first place.”
“Why?”
“Kindred spirits and all that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know. It’s okay. Rest assured, though, I still want you. I still want to make this work—for both of us. But you have to tell me if anything I did upset you. You were all right being naked?”
“Yeah.”
“Sometimes submissives don’t give out the sign that they don’t like something just to make sure they’re pleasing the dominant. I don’t want you to do that. It just makes understanding each other more difficult.”
“I don’t care about being naked,” I tell her. “Everyone around here gets naked. We’re kind of in a secluded spot anyway.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Casey says. “What about when I touched your cock?”
I feel heat rise to my face. I wish I had a non-verbal signal to convey more complicated sentences, but I don’t, so I’m at a loss.
“Rocco?”