Worst Christmas Eve ever, Holly decided.
And she took another sip of rum.
Chapter 42
Holly
Holly didn’t want to open her eyes. She had the covers pulled up around her chin and her body was comfortably warm, but her face was cold. If she opened her eyes, that meant it was morning.
And for the first time in her life, she didn’t want it to be Christmas morning.
Her phone began to buzz, telling her that it was almost time to leave. She had to be at the store an hour before the party to get everything set up.
With a groan, she sat up, swung her feet out of bed, and immediately regretted the decision. Her apartment was freezing. Even with socks on, her feet were cold on the floor. She hurried to the bathroom, changing her clothes as quickly as possible before the cold could set in.
Luckily, she’d had enough water that she wasn’t too hung over. Just a mild headache and she didn’t want any breakfast.
She grabbed her things and paused at the small Christmas tree in her living room. Three presents sat under it. There was the big, bulky Christmas present for her father, a handmade fleece blanket she’d put together for him, and the two presents for Nathan. Seeing them made her heart ache.
“Someone else might as well enjoy them,” she said to herself, picking up all three and bringing them into the car with her. S
he was going to a Christmas party where gifts would be given to anyone and everyone. Surely, there was someone in town that would like a copy of The Christmas Carol and a large Devonsville T-shirt.
The ride to her father’s bookstore was cold. She tried to enjoy the fresh snow on the trees, the white and blue of the mountains, and the twinkle of lights in every pine tree, but she felt hollow inside.
She missed Nathan. She wondered what he was doing this Christmas morning. Probably working, she decided. She told herself not to cry, but she couldn’t help it.
She had to pull over to the side of the road and let the tears come. She cried until she couldn’t breathe. Luckily, there was almost no traffic since it was Christmas morning, so no one saw her. When she finally felt in control again, she wiped her face, checked her mascara in the rear-view mirror, and continued on to the bookstore.
She went in through the back, following the sound of Christmas music to the front room. Mark was already setting up. He wore jeans and a red sweater with a Christmas tree proudly sewn into the front.
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he greeted Holly as soon as he saw her. He came over, wrapping her up in a hug and a kiss on the head.
“Hi, Dad,” she said, snuggling her face into the safety of his embrace. For a moment, she let herself be a child again. “Merry Christmas.”
He held onto her until she let go. He knew she was struggling with Nathan’s leaving.
“Thanks,” she said, wiping her cheeks and pulling away from her father. “We should get things set up.”
Mark nodded. “I’ll set up the tables for food. You finish the wrapping on the gifts. I don’t think there’s much left.”
Holly left her father pulling on tables and straightening tablecloths to go up to his office. He had most of the gifts in a big red velvet bag. This year, there was only the one bag. She could remember earlier years where there had been up to five red velvet bags, all stuffed to the brim with stuffed animals, books, and toys.
This year, there were just some books. They were thin and cheap. The toys were plastic things from China that they’d ordered in bulk. It was a meager offering for the store, but it was all they had to offer. With Elements leaving, the store didn’t have enough customers to afford more.
It would have to be enough. Holly hoped the kids wouldn’t be disappointed. She always made sure that the low-income kids got something extra, but this year she was scraping by. She’d put most of her extra money into the cheap plastic things from China, just so that there would be more in the bag.
Holly wrapped the last few books and carefully tucked them into the bag. The Santa suit hung in the small closet to the side of the desk. Mark made sure it was immaculate and she ran her fingers across the soft satin.
She could remember as a girl the magic of Santa. As an adult, she knew the secret and while she enjoyed being the gift-giver, some days she missed the magic of being a child. This year especially.
With a sigh, she went back down and helped her father with the last minute decorations.
Finally, everything was ready. She turned on the lights for the big tree at the front of the bookstore and opened the door. Already there was a line of people waiting for the annual Christmas party.
A stream of people came into the store, everyone carrying delicious smelling food to the tables. Kids ran around telling one another what magical things Santa brought them while the parents sipped on coffee and shared their midnight bike-instruction putting-together woes.
The atmosphere was happy, but subdued. Everyone knew this was the last one of these and they were trying to enjoy it without becoming sad. It was a fine line. Holly was certainly struggling with it.