“But you love that one, so that’s the one we’re going to watch,” Hannah told her. She squeezed Molly's shoulder as she headed off to Molly’s kitchen. “Put it on, put it on!”
Once Hannah was out of the living room, Molly let her brave face fall and sadness come back. Her shoulders slumped and she wanted to crawl into a miserable ball and sob some more. This was a sadness that went far deeper than sugar could ever hope to touch.
Not only was she losing the store and Nicholas Kerstman, but she had a feeling, deep in her stomach, that this would be the last Christmas Eve she spent with Hannah like this.
Even though Molly knew that staying here would make her happy, even though she couldn’t imagine a life in New York, so far away from the sights and sounds that made her heart feel safe, it still pained her to think about future Christmases spent without either one of them by her side.
By the time Hannah had come back into the living room, holding a hot chocolate in each of her hands, Molly managed to plaster on a bright fake smile as her best friend settled into the couch beside her.
“You okay?” Hannah handed Molly her respective drink before taking a sip of her own.
“No,” Molly answered honestly, reaching for the TV remote. “But, I will be. Eventually.”
“Good, eventually works,” Hannah agreed softly. “Now, get that movie on.”
Molly flipped through the Christmas movies, determined to enjoy her last night of normalcy.
* * *
Molly woke up bright and early to her alarm.
She’d set it to wake her up just in time for her family’s traditional Christmas breakfast. She groaned and turned it off, wishing that she could have another hour of sleep. Or maybe just another hour of not thinking about Nicholas.
Hannah was gone, of course, having headed out at around midnight last night. Molly knew that Hannah had so much preparation to do for her big BakeTown special later that day, and she was so grateful that Hannah had still chosen to spend her Christmas Eve by Molly’s side.
Molly got ready to leave for her parents’ house, pulling on a pair of knee-high black boots and a dress that looked like it’d been patterned after the brightest of Christmas wrapping paper. She hoped that maybe the festive dress would make her feel a little more festive herself.
Today, however, she’d decided against the mistletoe in her hair. She couldn’t handle her father making a passing joke about her “trying to get Nicholas Kerstman to kiss her under the mistletoe” because Molly knew that she couldn’t handle thinking about Nicholas Kerstman today. She especially didn't want to think of kissing him.
That made her heart ache and her body miss him.
Instead of worrying about her previous romantic entanglement, Molly resolved to get lost in the spirit of Christmas. She was going to use all of her mental energy on the holiday, maybe stopping by to visit Liam after she’d had breakfast with her parents. Of course, she’d reserve the majority of her energy for Hannah’s big event, wanting to be the person cheering the loudest for her friend when she introduced Sweetness & Light to the entire TV watching world.
Before she left her apartment for the day, Molly noticed Nicholas’ wristwatch glowing on the living room table, glistening with the reflected light coming from her windows.
She hesitated for a moment and she looked down at her empty wrist. She swallowed hard.
It was such a strange feeling, still wanting to somehow keep him close to her even though she knew that she’d never see him again. Why would she? Nicholas Kerstman had no reason to step into this town again., He was attached to New York now. Molly knew that it would take something special to bring him back into her world.
And she couldn’t think of anything special off the top of her head.
Still, she grabbed for the watch, slipping it onto her wrist.
She hated how her heart felt so much lighter with merely the idea of Nicholas Kerstman seeming to calm the storm behind her chest. It was so incredibly stupid.
She decided that if anyone asked about the watch, she’d insist that it was a gift from a Secret Santa, as she was unwilling to let Nicholas’ name even cross her lips.
Molly then headed out her front door and made her way to her parents’ home.
Chapter 31
Molly
“Molly!” Mrs. Carmichael
greeted her with kisses as as she pulled her daughter inside her home. “Merry Christmas, my sweetheart!”
“Ah, lay off the girl, Emma! She just stepped through the door,” Mr. Carmichael told her. He was holding a cup of coffee in his hands and he smiled over at his daughter. “Merry Christmas, Molly. Where are our presents?”