"I think he's adorable. You know I've always liked cats," I said nonchalantly. Allie grinned at me. I finished the last of my wine, glad for a moment to feel normal. This was how my life was supposed to be. I loved spending time with my friends, visiting the zoo, and having a good time. For a short minute, I was able to forget that my heart was broken and for that, I loved my friends even more.
"Well, I'm out of wine," I stated, staring into my empty cup. Marissa raised her eyebrows, and Allie shook her head when I didn't move to do anything about it.
"So, go get more. That's the beauty of Zoo Brew. I don't think they've run out of alcohol yet." Marissa pretended to check her w
atch, making me laugh a little.
"Alright, you two want seconds?"
Allie and Marissa both held out their empty glasses, their eyes back on the tiger.
"Hey! I am not your waitress! This is a self-serve kind of a place ladies," I chastised. They both fell over in a fit of giggles at their supposed cleverness. I shook my head at them, glad to have them in my life. This day was actually becoming enjoyable because of them.
Marissa hooked her arm around mine, and Allie repeated the motion on the other side. "We're off to see the Wizard..." Marissa began to sing, her voice horribly off key.
"Tiger here can be the Cowardly Lion," Allie said, blowing the tiger a kiss as we began walking back toward the wine tent. "I want to be Dorothy. Marissa, you're the Scarecrow."
"Why am I the Scarecrow?" Marissa pouted.
"Because you got no brain, sweetie," Allie said matter-of-factly. I snickered as we turned the bend, walking directly toward the penguin enclosure. My heart stopped as one of the little birds waddled out and dove into the cool water.
"What about Kaylee?" Marissa asked, oblivious to the fact that I had stopped walking and was staring at the black and white birds.
"She's the Tin Man," Allie said softly, following my gaze and understanding immediately, "because she's lost her heart."
Owen tossed a small sardine to one of the penguins, the little bird catching it in it's mouth. Two more hurried up to him, all begging and splashing for the fishy treats. Owen chuckled and handed me the bucket of stinky fish. His eyes were bright with amusement as he watched as the penguins waddle over like I was their new king. He laughed, one of the black and white birds deciding my boot looked like a tasty treat and pecking at it voraciously. They piled on top of one another, their funny bodies wiggling as they asked for more. Owen smiled at me like this was the best day of his life.
My lower lip started to tremble, and tears gathered at the back of my eyes. I could practically see him there, laughing in delight at the funny, flightless birds. They were his favorite animal. A single tear broke through the dam, and suddenly I had buckets of tears pouring down my face. The crack in my heart had finally broken wide, and there was no pretending it was fine now.
Allie and Marissa exchanged a quick glance before practically dragging me off to a park bench hidden behind some trees where we wouldn't be bothered. I couldn't see the penguins anymore, but it didn't matter. The damage was done.
"What have I done? I've lost him," I sobbed into Allie's shoulder. She tucked her chin against my head, holding me to her like a small child as she smoothed my hair. "I should have stayed. I could have stayed and been okay."
"No, honey, you couldn't have." Marissa removed me from Allie's shoulder long enough to make me look at her. "You did the right thing. You couldn't have stayed there."
"But...but.." I couldn't find the words. My nose was running, and I couldn't breathe for crying. Marissa waited until I was calmer before she continued being my voice of reason.
"Kaylee, you did the right thing. You weren't meant to be a part of that desert world. And that's okay. You belong here." She handed me a napkin so I could blow my nose.
"But I love him. I really do."
"I know. Sometimes a fish and a bird fall in love, but that doesn't mean they are going to build a nest and have little fish-bird babies," Marissa said softly. Allie snorted at Marissa's bad analogy, and Marissa gave her a dirty look. "You know what I mean."
A strand of hair fell across my face and Marissa gently tucked it behind my ear with a soft smile. "What's important is that you were happy. I know the 'tis better to have loved and lost' thing is cliché, but it's still true. I know it hurts right now, but it's going to be okay."
I looked at her, tears still streaming down my face. I felt so lost, even with my friends on either side of me. Marissa sighed. "I can throw some more cliches at you if it will help you feel better."
I knew she was hoping to get a smile out of me, but I couldn't find one to give. Allie gave me a squeeze.
"It sucks right now. And it's gonna suck for a while. It will get better though. You'll get your happy ending someday, I promise." Allie gave me a hug. I knew they were trying their best, but there were no magic words that could fill the hole in my heart. I wished to heaven there were, but I knew it was just going to take time.
"I'm going to go get you some more wine. I think you can use some drunk time," Marissa said, putting a hand on my shoulder as she stood. She gave me a squeeze and headed off in the direction of the wine tent. I leaned my head back against Allie's shoulder, her blonde hair mixing with mine.
"After this, we'll head back to my place and drink crappy wine, watch crappy movies, and eat good ice cream. Okay?" Allie kept smoothing my hair with her hands, and I closed my eyes to her soothing touch.
"No skimping on the ice cream."
I felt her smile as she looked down at me. "I would never even dream of such a thing."