Dean's arms were around me again in an instant as I crumpled back to the floor. "I can't do this..." I whispered, my lungs too compressed to get much more than a wheeze out. A cold panic sunk into my bones, every muscle in my body trying to "fight and flight" at the same time. Outside, the sandstorm hit, the wind howling with anger at being denied entrance.
"He's going to be everywhere, Dean. He will never leave me alone. Especially not after today." The fact was like an ice cube in my mind, always bobbing to the top and making everything cold. "He really does own the city, Dean. He and his father have connections to everything. I can't stay here; I'm not safe here anymore. I just want to go home."
Dean pulled out his phone, hitting a speed dial number and waiting patiently until a voice answered on the other end. It was Owen. Just hearing his voice on the other end of the phone sent elation and fear through me.
"Sir, there's been an incident." Dean was the perfect professional.
"What happened? Is Kaylee alright?" The phone wasn't on speaker, but I could still hear his voice clearly. I wished so much that I could bury myself into Owen's chest, let his arms wrap around me, and let this bad memory drift away. I wished I could have made the past thirty minutes different. I felt horrible that this incident would probably sour his relationship with the sheik. I wished I had another option, one that wouldn't have the possibility of destroying what he was working so hard on. I knew I shouldn't be the one feeling guilty, but I couldn't help it. Yet another wave of anger washed through me that Roger would completely and utterly betray my trust and personal space.
"Kaylee is fine, sir. A little shaken, though. I got here just in time." Dean glanced at me. I was still shaking like a leaf in an autumn breeze. He gave my shoulder a slight squeeze, then stood and headed toward the kitchen to tell Owen what had happened. I was grateful that he was giving me space so I didn't have to hear the words happen again.
I looked out at the sand beating against the window. It was beautiful in a way, but I knew I could never survive out there. Lightning flashed amid the swirling brown clouds. There was no moisture out there, only swirling, hateful sand. It was as if Mother Nature herself was telling me that I didn't belong in this place.
"Yes, sir, I understand. I'll see to it. Thank you, sir." Dean came over and handed me the phone. My hands were shaking so badly that I almost dropped it.
"Owen?" I was surprised that my voice didn't come out as a squeak. It sounded normal.
"Are you alright, Kaylee? I'll come home right now, sandstorm be damned." He sounded angry, but I knew his anger wasn't directed at me though.
"I'm okay. A little shaky, but I'm okay. Really." If I told him I was okay and he believed it, then maybe I really would be. "Please wait until the storm is over. Dean is with me and I don't need you getting turned into a sand zombie."
"Kaylee, I want you to know that I'm not going to let this kind of behavior slide." Owen's voice vibrated with a quiet rage. I was very glad he was on my side.
"Thank you, Owen," I said softly.
"I'll call back in a little bit, okay?"
I nodded, not caring that he couldn't see me as the line went quiet. I let the phone fall to my lap as I just stared out at the raging storm that would never yield any rain.
***
When the storm finally ended, the world returned to too-bright sunshine and blue skies. Down below, I could see workers with brooms pushing piles of sand from the sidewalks, the clean-up already beginning. Owen was home shortly, almost as soon as the sky was clear.
"Kaylee," he called, barging into the room. I got up from the couch, knowing I was pale and trembling. I was in his arms before I could take a second breath.
Owen held me tight against his chest, his heart pounding wildly. I held onto him like he was the only solid thing in my world, a strong rock to hold onto among the swirling sands. He kept his arms around me, but looked down, releasing me slightly to brush a stray strand of hair from my face.
"You're sure you're okay?"
"If either of you asks me that again, I will hit you," I said, glancing toward Dean. He sat protectively by the door, a lion guarding his den. "Look, I made you both some dinner. I don't want to talk about what happened right now. I just want to eat."
The two men shared a glance and nodded. I knew the smells coming from the kitchen were intoxicating. Once I had hung up with Owen, I had dived into my cooking. It was something that required my concentration and allowed me to distance myself from what had just happened. I wasn't ready to deal with it yet.
Owen put on a smile, his face attempting to convince his brain that everything was okay. "What did you make? It smells wonderful."
"Cheeseburger Pie, a salad, and cookies." I motioned them both to the table and brought out a steaming casserole dish.
"What's cheeseburger pie? I don't think I've ever heard of it," Owen said, eying the baking dish in my hands.
"It's basically meatloaf with mashed potatoes and lots and lots of cheese. I had to improvise on the salad a little bit, but I think it came out pretty good. I'll put the cookies in the oven in just a couple minutes so they'll come out warm when we want to eat them." I smiled at the two men.
It was so much easier to just pretend that nothing had happened. I didn't want that afternoon to be real, so I chose not to think about it. I knew that I was going to have to face it eventually, but I didn't want to do it right this minute. I wanted to pretend, just for a little while, that everything was normal and things were going to work out the way they should. I just wanted to forget.
We ate quietly as the sun began to sink and the world turned dark. I put the dishes in the sink and we sat on the couches eating cookies, only making small-talk. When the cookies were gone, Dean volunteered to do dishes. I watched as Owen turned his phone on, which was bizarre because he never had his phone turned off. It immediately chirped at him and he went into the next room to work on it.
I sat on the couch. The room dipped into darkness as night fell across the city. For the first time since I was a small child, the dark made me nervous. I was sure every noise in the hallway was Roger trying to sneak back in. Every creak of the giant building made me feel sure that something terrible was about to happen.
I ran around the room, turning on every light I could find, but it didn't get rid of the fear. Owen came out and sat beside me on the couch, trying his best to be strong and comforting. I knew I was jumping at shadows, but that didn't make me any less stressed out.