I nodded but made no move to leave the doorway. Maddy gave me a gentle nudge. “Now, stop stalling. Rip off the Band-Aid, or it's just going to hurt worse,” she advised me.
I finally moved forward, and Maddy closed the door firmly behind me.
Chapter 23
Logan sat at a table waiting for me. His long legs were crossed off to the side as he flipped through an old newspaper and sipped on a coffee. He looked content and alluring with the candlelight flickering across his handsome face. The lighting in the restaurant was romantic, which felt strange for breakfast, but but since all the windows were boarded over, having candles on each table made sense in case of power outage. I swallowed hard and looked back at Maddy, who was waiting by the elevators. She nodded. I took a deep breath, trying to stop time. It didn't work. I still had to do this.
I paused, taking in the strength of his jaw and the curve of his cheek. That lone curl had fallen across his forehead again. I tried to imagine th
is scene with the two of us in Chicago. Could we make it work? Was Maddy wrong?
Every last minute scenario I could come up with was terrible. Our businesses always came between us. I wished that his father hadn't turned me down two years ago. If I had joined Travel, Inc. then, I wouldn't be going through this now. Granted, I would have never found out how strong I could be and how much I loved running my own business, but the loss still made my heart ache.
I had to do this. I had to end it my relationship with Logan here, before it had a chance to move off the island and destroy us both. I could almost convince myself that if I stopped us now, it wouldn't hurt. That the connection we had was purely physical. That I wasn't starting to feel things toward him. That I hadn't actually been feeling those things towards him for a long time. Love and hate were such opposite sides of the spectrum, but yet I knew emotions were more like a circle than a line. The distinction between the two was blurry, and I was terribly afraid I had crossed it a long time ago.
Still, this relationship endangered my livelihood. I put everything I had, emotionally and financially, into building and running Dream Vacations. Sleeping with the competition put all that I had worked for in jeopardy. I loved the freedom of owning my own business and making my own decisions. I couldn't give that up. Not for something I wasn't sure was going to last a week outside of the tropical air.
Business was what had kept us apart the last time, too. This romance was doomed from the start. Maddy was right. It was Logan or my company. And right now, my company had the better track record. Logan had the better body, but Dream Vacations was my future.
I squared my shoulders and pulled up the memory of the secretary telling me that Mr. Hayes was no longer interested. I let that hurt wash over me and give me the strength to do this. I could be gentle, but my resolve had to be firm. I walked into the room and sat down across from the man whose heart I was about to break.
His face blossomed into a smile as I sat. He glanced down at the table, indicating the cup of coffee he'd gotten for me. I could smell the delicious aroma of a vanilla latte. My favorite. My nerve wavered, and I nearly called my plan off. Be strong, I told myself. You can do this. You have to do this.
“I read in an interview that vanilla lattes were your favorite,” Logan admitted. He grinned like a child eager to hear that his surprise was well liked.
“Yes, they are,” I said softly, staring down at the light brown liquid. His eyes held that color sometimes. I felt tears forming deep within me. I hated this part. This moment of innocence and calm before the storm was terrible.
“Are you okay?” Logan asked. His enthusiasm had switched to concern. He reached out a hand and placed it on mine.
I pulled my hand away. “No. I'm not.” My voice shook as I looked up from the coffee and in to his troubled face. “I'm very sorry, but we can't do this.”
“They have a couple of other flavors of lattes,” Logan replied, deliberately misunderstanding me. “You can have anything you want.”
“It's not the latte,” I said quietly. My heart was made of glass and it was shattering. “It's us.”
And then I proceeded to break both our hearts.
Chapter 24
“The hurricane currently pounding on the shores of Antigua and the surrounding islands has been upgraded to a Category 2 hurricane with wind speeds approaching a hundred and ten miles per hour. The storm is dissipating as it moves further South, but conditions are still considered to be dangerous. Residents are advised to stay indoors in a safe location. Power outages and flooding are expected in many areas...”
I stared at the TV screen, not really hearing the reporter's words or even seeing the map. The room was dark except for the glowing screen, and I was simply focused on the light. I wasn't sure how long I had been sitting here, staring at nothing and hating myself, but enough time had passed that the gray light was gone from the windows.
I kept seeing Logan's crumple, seeing the ache and betrayal in his eyes, seeing his broad shoulders slumping as he broke. All I could hear were the tightness in his voice and the loss and pain that echoed through in the pauses between his words. I had hurt him. I had given him hope that we could be happy, and then stripped it all away from him. Having hurt him was what killed me most.
I reached for another Kleenex, but the box was empty. I didn't have the energy to move to find another one or to even get a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom. I just wanted to curl up in a tiny ball and let the storm swallow me whole. It was what I deserved.
Worst. Vacation. Ever.
A frantic banging on my door finally roused me from my stupor. I staggered to my feet and opened it to see a very pale Maddy.
“Have you seen Tyler?” she asked, peeking around me to see if he was in my room. Her hair was a mess and her voice wrought with anxiety. A jolt of fear woke me up from my own problems.
“No, I haven't,” I told her, opening the door wider to let her in. “Is everything okay? What's going on?”
She paced the living room nervously, the clunk of her walking boot only adding to my anxiety. Her hands twisted a bracelet around her wrist in a quick motion. She only did that when she was extremely distressed. “I took a nap this afternoon, and when I woke up, Tyler wasn't in the room. I went down to check on him and Spock, but neither one of them was there.”
“I'm sure they're around here somewhere, Maddy,” I consoled her. “They must have just gone for a walk or something.”