She frowned. “But the-”
“No butts
,” I told her firmly. “Lunch.”
Kathryn smiled as she shrugged into her jacket. “When'd you learn to be bossy? I thought I hired a mouse.”
“It's all the coffee,” I replied with a shrug as sat back at my desk to continue on my lists. The coffee was good, but it wasn't what was powering me through the days.
“Then remind me to get you more for Christmas,” she murmured as she pulled her hair out from under the stylish jacket. “I'll have my phone on the whole time. Call me immediately if anything changes.”
“Scout's honor,” I promised, holding up three fingers. “Have a good time.”
“It's just quick follow up with Gerald Hayes in my office before lunch.” Kathryn paused before leaving. “Lena?”
“Yeah?” I looked up, ready to add whatever she needed to my to-do list.
“I don't know what happened to you on that island, but whatever it was, you needed it.” She smiled, warming her features. “You did excellent work before we left, but you didn't take charge. Since we've been back, you've been a one-woman show. If it's the coffee giving you this spark, I'll buy you a year's supply.”
I beamed at the compliment. “I like the hazelnut flavor in the blue cups and I'm pretty sure the creamer in the fridge has something to do with it too.”
“You got it.” Kathryn laughed. She paused at my desk. “Before I go, I wanted you to know I sent in my letter of recommendation for you to Harvard.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“If they don't let you in, they're going to have a very unhappy supporting alumni.” She winked. “Though, I wouldn't mind if it means getting to keep you around the office a little while longer.”
“I really appreciate that, but you need to get in your office or he'll be there before you,” I warned her with a smile. “Don't make me call security on you.”
“There's that confidence again.” Kathryn glared good-naturedly at me. “Hazelnut in the blue cups it is.”
I looked up in time to see her swish into her office and start picking things up. I was doing my best to ignore the fact that she was having a meeting with Aiden's father. I kept telling myself that Gerald Hayes and Aiden Hayes were two entirely separate people and that arrival of one did not mean the other would show as well.
My coffee mug was only half empty, but I still had a lot of work to do and a full cup sounded like a good way to start. Before I left my desk though, I checked my phone and my email, just in case something new had come in.
There were a couple new interoffice notices, but nothing I wanted to see. Nothing from Aiden. It had been almost three days since our hasty departure and my heartfelt admission of love, but I hadn't heard a word from him.
The silence was what was fueling me, not the coffee.
I stood up and rolled my shoulders. I had been staring at my computer screen and on the phone all day and now I had nasty crick in my neck. I checked my inbox one last time before picking up my mug. Nothing.
I dumped my mug out into the sink and set it on the silver tray of the K-cup coffee machine before opening the cabinet to look at the coffee selection. The hazelnut flavored blue cups were gone, so I settled for a green morning blend instead. No, I thought to myself, it definitely wasn't the coffee.
I raised the silver handle to place the coffee pod in the machine. The coffee maker was certainly getting a workout this week. The entire office was staying late trying to catch up on the Dallas Disaster in addition to their regular workloads. Coffee pods were becoming rare commodities. There was a used K-cup inside, and so I reached in and grabbed it. The empty cup was still hot from the last user and it burned my fingers. I hissed, more from surprise than pain, and flung it into the trash.
Two and a half days. I had held out hope that there would be a message waiting for me when I stepped off the plane. I was sure there would be a phone call that evening. I had been positive that he would at least leave me a note on my desk the next day. But nothing came. A full day of nothing, followed by another. And still nothing today. It was time to accept that he was never going to say anything.
I sucked on my offended fingers as I finished making my coffee. I should have known that he wasn't going to follow me. I had told him I loved him after just three days. Any sane man would avoid a woman like that. Especially one with a playboy history like Aiden. I had been a fling. Something fun to pass the time at a boring convention.
It hurt, and not just my fingers. I couldn't help that I still loved him. I thought knowing the truth about him would change my feelings, but it didn't. The pictures on the internet were just pictures. I loved the man who brought me dinner, took me fishing, and got caught in the rain with me.
I knew he must not feel the same. Two days of silence suggested otherwise. I had just been his latest flavor of the week. I had thought I was different. I had thought we had something special, but every hour that went by without a word just told me otherwise.
And so, I buried myself in work. If I kept busy, I didn't think quite so much about him or what I had said. Looking through witness statements and working on logistics kept me from remembering the smell of his hair and the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled. Quarterly reports banished the way his laughter made me smile. It was a blatant lie I told myself to make me feel better, but it was what got me through the day.
I had the choice to sit and mope, or to let the experience make me stronger. For once in my life, I chose stronger. I was going to use this as the opportunity to become the person I wanted to be. The person Aiden showed me I could be.
I was working hard on not letting anyone walk over me again. Not even Alexa. When I first met Aiden, I had believed I was worthwhile simply because he did. Now, I realized that even though he wasn't here or even still believed it himself, I did. I was worthwhile because I believed in me. If Aiden did nothing else for me, he at least gave me the chance to believe in myself. He had changed me and I was going to make sure it was for the better.