Did I hear him right? “What?”
“I said, I can't do this. If you're going to complain to me about my imaginary girlfriends, yet won't accept a complete exchange of information, then it's hopeless. Either you can never trust me when we're apart, or you want complete access to my personal life without granting me the same in return. I guarantee I have a lot more to hide about my business than you have in that little phone of yours.”
I looked down, unable to look at him in the eye. I should just give him the phone now, let him see what I tried to hide. But somehow, I couldn't. My hand wouldn't release the death grip I had on the phone.
“I'm sorry, James,” was all I could say.
He scoffed. “Pack up your stuff, Allie. I was ready to give you everything, but if you can't even give me your phone, then this is over.”
I felt tears start to well in my eyes. This was the second time I was being thrown out of James' apartment, out of his life. The first time hadn't been my fault, and had been done reluctantly. This time, however, there was no one to blame but myself. Once I walked out that door, I was done. James wouldn't follow me to New York this time.
I thought one last time about handing the phone over to him, but I couldn't bring myself to. I just couldn't.
Without a word, I nodded my head. He stared at me for a moment, as if shocked that this was happening. With a shake, he stormed out of the room, closing himself in his studio. In a few moments I heard him playing his guitar. It was chaotic and violent, even more so than when I had walked in earlier today.
I turned on my phone and the picture popped up, mocking me. I could delete it now and give the phone to him, but I knew the damage was done. He would never trust me after this. Our bond that we had formed was shattered forever.
I walked around the apartment, gathering up the clothes that I had left scattered around the house. Most were in the guest room, but there were items hiding in several other rooms. I knew that I had left some clothes in the studio, but I was too sick to my stomach to try and get them. I put on another pair of jeans and a sweater that I brought instead. I felt numb the entire time that I packed up, tears occasionally dropping from my eyes but not really crying.
When I finished, I went to knock on the studio door to see what I should do about a ride to the airport. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw James' limo driver standing in the doorway.
“Have you finished packing?” he asked.
“Oh, um... Yes, but I have to get something out of the studio.”
“I apologize, but Mr. Coleman does not wish to see you. Anything that you've left in there will be sent to you by mail.” He said it with absolutely no emotion in his voice. I wondered what James had told him. I wondered how often he had to kick girls out of James' apartment.
“Oh. Of course.”
There was a pause. “So are you finished packing?” he repeated. I nodded without saying a word. “I will drive you to the airport. Waiting at the ticket counter is a plane ticket. In addition, Mr. Coleman has instructed me to provide you with anything additional that you need in order to expedite your return and make you comfortable.”
Cash and a plane ticket home. The same thing that he offered me the last time he kicked me out. I had at first refused it, then grudgingly accepted it. I was mad at him last time, but this time I was only mad at myself. I nodded my head and grabbed my luggage and purse. He handed me $200 and held the door open for me. I took one last look inside, realizing that it would be the last time I ever saw this apartment.
Just before the door closed, I heard one, last, mournful wail on that guitar before his soundproofing cut off the rest.
Chapter 41
The ride to the airport was uneventful, just as the last one had been. It felt eerily similar, but more painful. My bag was my only company this time. That, and my shame.
I pulled out my phone and just stared at the picture that had cost me my relationship with the man of my dreams. Then, I pulled up my sweater, touching my bare belly. I knew a child was growing inside of there, and I had no idea what to do about it. Everything had been turned upside down in my life these past couple weeks, and I had no idea what to do to straighten it all back out.
Soon, I'd be back in my dorm room. I wondered what I would do when I saw Nicole. Then, I thought with just a hint of disgust, I wondered if suddenly she'd start making trips to Boston. It was clear that he wanted to get with her, and now that I was out of his life, there was no reason not to.
Well, almost no reason. If James slept with Nicole, I'd have to murder her, of course. He might not want that on his conscience.
I pushed those jealous thoughts out of my head. I had driven James away all on my own, and whatever he did with his life from here on out was his own choice.
When we got to Logan International Airport, the limo pulled up in the drop-off zone. For a Saturday evening, the place wasn't very busy. The driver was out in an instant, and my door was held open for me before I even had a chance to grab my bag. I stepped out into the cool evening air, pulling my sweater down quickly.
The driver closed the door quickly. “Mr. Coleman finds this distasteful, but he called me and he would like you to sign a non-disclosure agreement concerning the events of the last few weeks.” He pulled out a sheaf of paper.
I felt even more sick. Three weeks ago, when he had obviously felt bad about throwing me out of his life, he had sheepishly asked that I keep quiet about it without signing a non-disclosure agreement. I had a feeling that this was the more standard way that he got rid of girls that he didn't want around anymore.
“And what if I refuse?” I asked.
The driver shrugged. “Mr. Coleman advised me that absolutely nothing adverse will happen to you if you refuse to sign it. However...” He trailed off for a moment. “Knowing what I know about the two of you, it is clear that i
f you were the source of certain rumors, he would be forced to sue you for slander or libel.”