I laughed. “I'm impressed. Your time must be worth a lot.”
“'A lot' doesn't even begin to cover it,” he said. “But, I guess I can give you the 'friends and family' rate. A mere ten thousand dollars an hour.”
I laughed at that, but considering that he made something like a billion dollars in the last three years, that might be close to the truth. A hundred hours a week, a hundred fifty weeks... I wasn't very good at math but even I could see that his time was a lot more valuable than my temper tantrum.
“I didn't bring much cash, can we come to some kind of an arrangement?” I asked, batting my eyelashes in an over-the-top fashion.
I watched his eyes do a once-over on my body. He started walking toward me, then stopped himself when he realized his guitar was still attached to his body and he was still hooked up to the amp. He stopped, then beckoned to me. “Come here,” he said. I walked up as he pulled the guitar strap from over his neck. “Have you ever played the guitar before?”
I shook my head. He smiled and help up the guitar strap, gesturing for me to stand where he had been. As I stood there, he slipped the strap over my head, adjusting it to fit me better.
“There's been a few things bothering me recently. Did you know that I had to throw the lead singer of my band out of my home yesterday?”
How could I forget? I thought.
“Then, on top of that, a girl that I'm falling hard for thinks I'm cheating on her.”
My heart skipped a beat. He's falling hard for me, I thought with a little big of an inner squeeeee.
“Do you know how that makes me feel, Allie?” he asked, looking into my eyes.
I shook my head. “No.”
He grabbed my hand and moved it to the neck of the guitar. I watched as he put my fingers on two of the strings, and with his other hand, he violently strummed the guitar for a few notes. The sound was discordant and harsh. “It makes me feel like that.” Then, he turned and grabbed the microphone from its stand and sang, “It sucks.”
I laughed. He turned to me with a smile. “How about you? Is anything bothering you?”
I thought about Nicole. I thought about Tessa. I thought about what our parents would think if they found out we slept together. I thought about my grades at school in New York. I thought about how I could keep James. But most of all, I thought about the baby that was, as we stood here messing around in his studio, growing inside of me.
Yeah, a whole hell of a lot was bothering me.
James spoke up before I had a chance to say anything. “I can tell you've got a lot on your mind. Play how it feels.”
I laughed, then tried to put my fingers on the same strings that he had. Then, I tried to play it as he had, with his fingers. Barely any sound came out, even through the amp. He laughed and grabbed a pick from a box. “Here, use this.”
I did a few strokes, pretty gentle at first. James shook his head. “Come on, Allie. Tell me how you really feel.”
I didn't need to be berated by him. I began playing it at random, moving my fingers on the fret and violently strumming. Soon, I was actually making different sounds. Even though they were just random, I seemed to feel better with every note I played. When I realized he was still looking at me, I stopped.
He did a slow clap. “That's the kind of raw emotion we need when we play.” He crossed the distance to me in a moment.
“Just when you play guitar, or everything?” I asked. “You seem to put all of yourself into everything you do.”
I stared into his eyes, losing myself to them for the moment. There was so much in those eyes that I loved, and yet so much that had me apprehensive. I knew so little about the man that was my brother. But, apparently he was falling hard for me.
“It's kind of just how I am,” he said quietly. “All or nothing.”
I moved forward and pressed my lips to him. I loved the way he tasted, the way he felt under my lips. His chin bore a light stubble that scratched me, but if anything, it only heightened my awareness of him. I wanted to touch every inch of him. To taste every inch of him.
His hand moved to my hair and he pulled hard, forcing me to fall further into him as he took control of the kiss. I snaked my own fingers up his chest, up his neck, to his hair and grabbed as well, pulling just as hard.
His free hand went up the back of my sweater, touching bare skin. His fingers splayed out as if he wanted to touch as much of my skin as possible. I loved the way his hand felt on my back, pushing me into him. As much as I tried to fight it, I loved having him in control in the bedroom.
“You drive me crazy,” he whispered, his words melting into my mouth. “I don't know how you do it, but you do.”
His tongue stroked mine, confident and sure. I moaned slightly, wanting to press my body into his, but there was a guitar in the way. I was surprised we had even been kissing this long with the beautiful instrument between us.
“Help me get this off,” I said, pulling the strap over my head, and fighting with my own limbs in my haste.