“Sorry,” I said, returning to planet earth. “I think I just need to get some air.”
“Mind if I join you?” He pushed back the empty glass and tapped his jacket pocket. I heard the dull sound of a cigarette box.
“Not at all. Company is always nice,” I replied.
Dennis threw a couple of bills down on the bar and then guided me out of the bar area and out of the restaurant. Audrey waved as I left, her face darkening slightly as she saw who I was leaving with. I waved back, but didn't stop.
Outside it was freezing. Even with my coat on, the cold winter air was sucking the heat straight out of me. I could see my breath freeze on the dark air and flickering in the pale streetlamp light. Dennis kept walking, moving away from the restaurant and out toward the dark parking lot.
“Where are you going?” I called out. He turned, half his face masked in darkness. The street lamp for the parking lot was burned out.
“To my car. We can sit in there so we don't freeze.”
I pursed my lips. It seemed obvious enough what he was trying and I wasn’t adverse to the idea of feeling his lips on mine. I had certainly wanted it at one point. But something bothered me, and I hesitated.
“Or we could just go back inside,” he offered lamely. I hated the way he said it. Like I wasn't worth the effort. This was my shot at redemption, and I wasn't about to let some vague uneasiness make me give it up. “You probably don't smoke anyway.”
“No, lets go to your car.” The last thing I wanted was to get my old reputation back.
But once I got sat down in the passenger seat, Dennis made it clear he had no intentions of lighting up. His hand knocked my coat open and reached for my bare thigh, sliding up under my dress before I could even yell at him to stop. I had only had a couple of sips of beer and was no where close to being ready for that much that fast. I wanted redemption, some making out, maybe a little more. Something that he could brag a little to his friends and I wouldn't be the pariah anymore. However, I did not want to go all the way in the back seat of Dennis' car in the dark parking lot. “Hey!”
“What?” he said, grinning. He leaned in and kissed me, but I pulled away. He tasted like bad beer and stale cigarettes. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing,” I said, pushing his hand out from under my skirt. This wasn't going quite the way I had imagined. “Just, take it easy. It’s not a race.”
His eyes darkened and his body stiffened. I had embarrassed him, which was the last thing I wanted to do. This was my chance to get back in Springfield's popular kids' good graces and lose my awful reputation. I wouldn't have to be a social pariah if Dennis gave me his approval.
“All right,” he huffed, leaning back in his seat. He turned on the car to fire up the heater, then reached in his breast pocket for his cigarettes. He offered me one.
I tried to smooth his ruffled feather
s back down. “Can I just smoke some of yours?” I fluttered my eyelashes and did my best to look demure. It usually worked for me.
“Sure,” he said. He lit up and took a drag, then passed it to me. I took a much smaller drag and passed it back, coughing. He laughed. “Not a regular smoker?”
“No. Only when I drink.”
He took another few drags, staring ahead, still not happy with me. I needed to fix this and fast. I reached out and touched his face, turning him to face me. I hoped he wouldn’t still be mad at me for asking him to slow down.
But he smiled as I stroked his cheek, then leaned in, slowly this time, and kissed me.
I tried to kiss him back, but when I opened my mouth he pushed his tongue in, aggressive and rough all over again. The taste of old cigarettes was overwhelming. His hand groped and grabbed, nearly giving me bruises with the intensity of his grip. Way, way too much.
I pushed him off of me, my skin crawling this time. “Maybe this was a bad idea,” I said.
“What’s your problem?”
“Nothing,” I said, all those silent alarms a girl learns to program when she grows up sounding off in my head. I took a deep breath and coughed on the smoke in the car. “I just like to go slow, okay?”
But he was angry now. He took a hard drag off of his cigarette and flicked it out of his cracked window. It was time for me to leave. If I left now, I could say I felt sick. That the smoke was bothering me. It wouldn't be a death sentence for what little reputation I had.
Before I could turn for the door handle he had already turned around and grabbed for me again, his hand back on my bare thigh and the other pulling me towards him.
“Knock it off, Dennis!” I shouted, swatting at him. But he just grabbed my arm and pulled it down into his crotch, forcing me to feel his hard on. Disgust curled up in my stomach like a snake and I was afraid I actually might be ill.
“Come on, I know you want it,” he smirked. “Nobody likes a tease.”
“Dennis! Stop it!” Panic was starting to well up inside of me. I needed to figure out an escape route. I needed a plan. I needed to...