“Ethan,” she said, after a few moments of silence.
“Hmm?” he grunted, still drawing imaginary circles on her shoulders.
He was obviously as happy as could be, but she needed to be completely honest with him.
“I don't think I can go to the Caribbean with you,” she said, as she rolled over so that she could face him.
His relaxed smile turned into a frown immediately upon hearing the news. “How come? I thought you were so excited about taking the kids out to see the ocean.”
“I was excited,” she said, tears welling in her eyes. “But I can't get on that airplane. The thought of boarding that thing and sitting in those seats, the same kind of seats that my parents were in during their crash... It terrifies me. I can't even think about it. I'm sorry. I just...”
Ethan slipped his arms around her and held her tightly against his chest. “Shhh, shhh. I get it, Laura. I completely understand. If you don't feel comfortable going, I won't make you. I'd never force you to do something that you didn't want to.”
He held her there for a moment, and Laura closed her eyes, pressing her cheek against his bare chest. Having Ethan with her helped to ease the anxiety in her heart. It was tough because there was nothing more in the world that she wanted to do than to go to the beach with him and the kids. But memories of her parent's death haunted her, and even the remote possibility of having Dallas and Ivy's lives end in a similar way was enough to send her into a panic attack.
“Are you okay?” Ethan asked as he began to rub her back gently.
She nodded. “Yeah, I'm fine. I wish I could get over this fear, but it's just so hard. I've thought about that accident so much that it was almost like I was on that plane myself. That's the only thing that makes me not want to take the trip with you, though, I promise. If it weren't for that, I'd go with you no matter what.”
“For what it's worth, Laura, the tickets are for a private jet,” he said. “It wouldn't even feel like a plane. It's a completely different experience.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You're not strapped down to your seat for half the flight,” he said. “You can get up and walk around as much as you want. We'll have the plane to ourselves, too. You don't have to worry about anyone. And unlimited drinks.”
He flashed a wink, and for the first time since they were talking about airplanes, Laura smiled. “Unlimited drinks, huh?”
“And it's all the good stuff,” he said. He brushed a hair from her cheek, his eyes soft as he touched her. “It'll be you, Craig and me. But Craig will probably spend most of the time up in the cockpit, hanging out with the pilot.”
She was silent for a bit, her mind whirling with possibilities and worse case scenarios. Suddenly, the sound of an airplane engine filled her ears. It came out of nowhere, like a flashback in a scary movie. The deafening roar surrounded her. Ethan was still talking, but she could only see his lips moving. She couldn't hear a word he was saying over the sound of the airplane motor.
All at once, images of her parents laying in the flames of a plane wreck entered her mind. She saw her mother there, wearing what used to be a beautiful white dress, but was now just a charred piece of cloth that hung desperately to her body. Her father was nearby, surrounded by flames that were too high for her to reach him. It was her worst nightmare. She was there but could do nothing to help. She was forced just to stand there and face the reality that they were gone and were never coming back.
A tear fell down her cheek, and Ethan reached forward, wiping it away with his thumb. “Hey, you alright?”
The engine sounded faded away, and Laura snapped back to reality. She looked around in a daze until she finally regained her senses.
“Yeah,” she said, sniffling. “Sorry, I was just thinking about planes. It's never a fun thing for me to think about.”
Ethan stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. He gazed into her eyes. If I ever feel safe again, I know that it will be with him, she thought. Still, though, everything inside of her screamed at her to never get on an airplane again. It was, of course, just fear that filled her mind with these ideas. Regardless, fear was one powerful influence, and it had a grip on her that was so fierce it was impossible to ignore.
“I'd be with you the entire time,” Ethan said. “If you got scared, I'd be right there. Anything that would make you feel more comfortable on the flight, I can make happen. I don't care what it is. Movies, games, drinks, food, a mariachi band. I'll figure out a way to make it happen, and it will get done. I promise you that.”
Laura wanted to say 'yes' again so badly. She really did. She wanted to pretend that everything would be okay, but in all reality, she had no clue how she might react the moment she stepped foot on that airplane. Having a full blown panic attack in front of Ethan wasn't exactly the kind of impression she wanted to make on him.
“I don't know, Ethan,” she said, shaking her head. “I just don't know.”
“Look, Laura, if it's that difficult for you, then we don't have to go,” he said. “As I said, I don't want you to do something you're not comfortable with. But if there's even a tiny part of you that feels like you can do it, please consider it. I promise it will be safe and also that it will be worth it. The ocean can heal you. It heals me, anyway. Every time I go there, I leave feeling so much better about life. It puts things in perspective. I'd love nothing more than to show it to you.”
“You know, I've technically seen the ocean before,” Laura said. “I don't remember it making me feel that way, though.”
“That's because you saw the industrial city ocean,” he said. “That's not where I'm taking you, though. This is completely different. Where we're going in the Caribbean is unlike any other ocean in the world. The house is built over the water. We can snorkel with dolphins that live in the area.”
“Dolphins?” she asked, perking up. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” Ethan's eyes lit up as he spoke. “The coral reefs there are gorgeous, too. I've never seen so much ocean life in one spot. It's like taking a swim in an issue of National Geographic Magazine, only a million times better because you're actually there to experience it.”
“It sounds lovely,” she said, with a sigh.