“Oh honey girl, don’t you know?”
Oh no. Oh, God. No, no, no.
“Travis, here…” She pinched his cheek, kill him now. “…had the biggest crush on you when you were little! Why do you think he was so insistent on playing house even if he had to be the dog? Why, it was precious. I remember when you had your sixteenth birthday party and your date didn’t show, he—”
“Grandma!” Travis shrieked. “Really, let’s not exaggerate my boyhood crush. Plus, I’m guessing Kacey already knew, what with the ponytail pulling and rock throwing.”
He hoped she at least suspected.
Kacey’s mouth was slightly ajar, her eyes focused on the two of them as if inspecting them. “You’re telling me…”
Oh, God.
She approached both of them, still squinting. “…That he put me through hell because he liked me?”
He gulped. Somehow he saw this happening differently in his head. He would confess his love, and they’d laugh about how silly it was and make love on the kitchen floor.
One by one he watched his daydreams shatter as Kacey advanced toward him. “You told the entire fifth grade class that I peed my pants during recess!”
Yes, yes he had.
“You hid a spider in my lunch box, and when I cried you told everyone the reason I was crying was because my mom left the crust on my sandwich.”
“It wasn’t that bad, come o
n, Kace…”
“I was in high school. And yes, it was that bad. People thought I had some weird crust fetish until I graduated. I found crusts in my locker for an entire year.”
Travis backed up against the counter.
“Oh, look at the time!” Grandma chuckled. “See you later, you two. Now don’t go fighting over things you can’t change!”
Travis mentally pleaded with his grandma to stay. Really, he was on his knees, tears poured down from his face. He began to sweat. And then when she disappeared, he resorted to praying for God’s intervention.
Kacey looked ready to explode.
Not good.
“You cut my hair.” Her tone was clipped as if that was the final straw in her book.
“I did,” he confirmed, slowly inching farther down the counter toward the door. “But in my defense, I was trying to get the gum out.”
“THE GUM YOU PUT THERE!”
“You can’t prove that!” Why was he yelling? “Besides! You told everyone my junior year that I only pretended to stutter to get extra help from the teachers!”
“You did!”
“One time!”
“That’s nothing compared to what you put me through.” She pushed his chest. Travis reached behind him. A carton of eggs were on the counter. His mom must have been getting dinner ready.
Slowly, he reached inside and grabbed two. “Well, I guess I just like to be one step ahead of you, Kacey.” With that, he plopped the eggs onto her head.
And tried to take off in the other direction.
Kacey tripped him. He went sailing to the floor.