Kacey nodded.
“Now…” Grandma Nadine straightened her suit jacket. “I have a date.”
“Grandma, it’s nine in the morning.”
“Who says you have to only date at night?” She pulled out a mangled tube of lipstick and formed an O as she coated it across her lips. “The way I see it…” She smacked her lips together. “Is if you date a person in the morning, that gives you all day to play.”
Too much information.
Way too much.
Was it possible to rewind conversations and forget they ever happened?
“I’m off.” Grandma winked and strolled across the street in six-inch heels.
Something was seriously wrong when your grandmother had better clothes than you. Note to self: Raid her closet later.
Fascinated, Kacey watched as Grandma knocked on Mr. Casbon’s door. It swung open wide and she was pulled in.
The drapes were closed. Thank God for small favors.
Kacey entered the house more in a daze than anything. Grandma wasn’t sick. She knew Kacey and Jake weren’t engaged, and she was encouraging Kacey to do what? Find
herself? Why did she have to come to the one place packed with all her childhood memories to do so?
The one house, the one family who was almost closer to her than her own.
When she and Jake had broken up, it was as if her world had shifted. She went from spending every holiday at his house to making excuses about work obligations. All because of one stupid night. One careless night where she’d imagined she could be more to him than just his friend.
Oh, she’d been his girlfriend for a year before they had ever done anything, but it was more of an agreement. It had been a way for him to protect her from creepy guys, from the senior year of high school into their first year of college.
It had never meant anything.
They hadn’t ever acted on anything.
She swallowed back more tears, remembering the smell of the dorm room when they’d gotten back from the party that night.
Jake had been laughing about some guy who had fallen into the pool, and Kacey had been drinking water like there was no tomorrow. They’d never gone to parties without one another and had always made sure to hydrate and stay out of trouble. They’d gone for social reasons, that was it.
But when Jake had dropped her off that night at her apartment, he’d asked if he could crash on the couch. He’d stayed, and after a while they’d started kissing.
She wasn’t even sure what had started the kissing. Had she leaned in first? Had he? Did it matter now? Then the clothes had come off and all she could remember was thinking that she was finally going to be with the man she loved. The man who’d stood by her side her whole life.
In her innocent mind she’d thought giving herself to him meant… forever.
In his mind, it had meant… a moment.
One crappy non-mind-blowing moment that ended with tears of frustration.
It had been awkward to say the least. Jake had sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands repeating over and over again. “Oh God, what did we do, what did we just do?”
And she’d sat there, vulnerable, no longer a virgin, and had fought to keep the tears from pouring down her face. If it would have been any other guy, she would have kicked him out and called Jake to come take care of her.
But who do you call when you screw your best friend? When the one person who understands you is the one who can’t even look at you?
“I have to go,” he had said, not bothering to say goodbye, ask if she was okay, or anything. The door slamming had felt like a hammer hitting her body.
She had sat in the silence, trying to even her breathing. Not really understanding why the experience hadn’t been as magical as she had heard it would be, and not knowing if she should tell someone or just lie there.