I never could lie. Ever. Even before I went to live at St. Patrick’s.
At this point I had nothing to lose. It was clear Malcolm couldn’t care less, Autumn thought it was a game and Malcolm’s mother clearly hated me, so what did I have to lose?
With a shrug, I said, “I couldn’t really work out in the lingerie Malcolm had bought for me, it would have been too cold.”
Autumn lost it laughing as Malcolm coughed while he grabbed my arm and dragged me across the room. I risked looking at Shirley. That was a mistake. She glared at me like I was trash that needed to be taken out.
“What in the hell, Paislie?”
I stood there with my mouth hung open as my body trembled in anger. “Are you serious right now? What did you want me to do? Lie? You put me in that spot, Malcolm.”
Glancing up, Autumn picked up Sophie and said something about getting ice cream from Clarisse. My eyes caught Shirley’s as I held my breath for a few seconds before turning back to Malcolm. “And by the way, why does your mother hate me so much?”
Malcolm pulled his head back in shock. “She doesn’t hate you,” he said in a low voice.
I pushed past him and made my way out of the room.
“Yoga lesson cancelled,” I said as I walked past Shirley. “Have a wonderful day today, Mrs. Wallace.”
The entire way back to my room I fought like hell to keep my tears at bay.
I was not liking this overly-emotionally Paislie at all.
Not one bit.
PAISLIE STORMED OUT OF THE gym and past my mother while she placed her hands on her hips and shot me a dirty look.
Lifting my hand, I shook my head. “Before you utter a word, Mom, I’m a grown man and Paislie is a grown woman. What we do in private is our business.”
“Malcolm, I don’t give a rats ass who you have sex with, from what I’ve read it happens often, but to do it in your own home with an employee of yours. And to top it off, you don’t really know what this Paislie girl wants from you. Let’s not mention how she probably found out about Casey and is using the fact she has similar looks to her advantage. She’s taking your money and having sex with you. That’s not right.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Stop it. Mom, just stop.”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’m trying to protect you. Clearly you have a thing for her and I’m just saying you’re worth a lot of money and honestly, for her to come down to your gym in slutty underwear? Good lord, Malcolm what am I supposed to think about her now?”
“Mom! I bought it for her to wear and I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk about Paislie that way. You know nothing about her.”
“I know she’s living in your house and you’re paying her a ridiculous amount of money to be here, on top of paying her rent on her place in Dallas.”
I felt my heart drop. “How do you know that?”
She shrugged and said, “I asked Janet a few questions and she assumed I knew about your arrangement with Paislie. She might have told me a little more than she should have under the impression I knew.”
With a look of disappointment on my face, I turned away from my mother and stared out the window. It was then I saw Paislie walking to the barn. Her pace was fast, as if she needed to get as far away as possible. I longed to go after her.
With a deep breath in, I tried to make sense of what my mother was trying to do. “Mom, you don’t know anything about my personal life, and I find it extremely rude that you would go poking around asking Janet things about it.”
“I’m only looking out for you, Malcolm. Now, I think you should stop and think about this thing you have going on with Paislie. She’s not Casey and she’ll never be able to replace her.”
Spinning around, I felt my heart pounding in my chest. “Jesus Christ, will you drop the whole fucking Casey thing!”
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Don’t you use that language with me, Malcolm.”
My hand pushed through my hair as I let out a frustrated moan. “Mom! I know she is not Casey. I’m not trying to find a replacement for her. I’ve spent the last I don’t know how many years trying to bury the guilt of her dying. Trying to forget the words she said to me before her life ended. I’ve been dead inside, not allowing myself to feel anything for anyone. And yes, what you read was true. I fucked around . . . a lot. But Paislie is different and I don’t know why you can’t believe that. She wants nothing from me. She’s had a hard life and made something of herself. Why can’t you believe that I’ve actually fallen in love with someone and it doesn’t have a damn thing to do with Casey? I never loved Casey the way I do Paislie.”
With a gasp, she walked up to me. “You . . . you love this girl?”
I hadn’t even realized I said I loved Paislie. And hell I said it twice. “I don’t know what I’m feeling. All I know is I want to be with her every second of the day. Her smile makes me smile. Her laugh calms me down and her strength is inspiring. She believes in me, Mom. She brought me back to life and I need her.”