I stood up and grabbed the pillow, leav
ing the blanket on the floor. Once she fell asleep, I’d slip out of the bed and sleep on the floor. There was no way in hell I’d be able to sleep next to her all night.
Liza fell back onto her pillow and turned her back toward me as I crawled under the sheet. The moment I felt her body against me, I began a chant in my head: You love Jessica. You only want Jessica. I placed my arm around Liza and pulled her closer to me, but not close enough that she might feel my already hardening dick. You love Jessica. You only want Jessica.
I breathed in Liza’s scent and was transported back to the day we’d said goodbye.
LIZA’S PARENTS WERE in Austin for a holiday benefit party. I’d snuck up into Liza’s room, and we hadn’t stopped kissing since shutting her bedroom door. Now we were on her bed and I had my dick pressed between her legs. She moaning quietly and I wanted to strip her down and make love to her once and for all, but something was stopping us. This last semester had been hard for both of us. Being away from Liza was starting to make me go crazy. I couldn’t think straight anymore. I always wondered what she was doing. Where she was. Who she was with.
I moved my lips to her ear and kissed it. She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me closer.
“Oh, God. Walker…I’m going to come.” She whispered as I pressed in harder. I bit her ear and she grabbed my arms, arching her back as she tried to hold back her moans of pleasure. I moved my lips to hers as I swallowed one moan after another. I loved that I could make her come like this. I couldn’t help but wonder what it might feel like with me inside her. As Liza’s orgasm began to wind down, she loosened her grip on me. I pulled away and smiled. Her chest was heaving and she was biting her lip.
“I miss you so much,” I said, watching her chew on her lip. “I don’t think I can keep doing this, Liza.” I leaned down and kissed her, gently sucking on her lower lip. “I want to make love to you so bad, but I know the moment I do, I’m going to crave you even more. And you’ll be gone.” I watched as a tear slid down her face.
“What are you saying, Walker?” she asked. I knew from the look in her eyes that she was thinking the same thing that I was.
I moved off of her and sat on the edge of her bed. She adjusted her bra and shirt and sat next to me. She took a breath and asked, “Should we take a break from…us?”
I slowly nodded. “I can’t focus, Liza.”
“Neither can I. It’s getting harder,” she said, wiping her nose.
I took her hand and held it. Little did I know that would be the last time I’d kiss her.
“THANK YOU,” LIZA whispered.
I held her next to me, keeping my dick away, but still keeping her close enough that she felt safe. Growing up, anytime she had a nightmare she’d text me and I’d sneak in through her bedroom window to hold her until she fell asleep. I’d sit there and watch her sleep for a while before heading home. I think one of those nights was when it finally hit me—I loved her and would do anything for her.
The sound of her steady breathing relaxed me. Don’t fall asleep. I told myself. Do. Not. Fall. Asleep. My eyelids grew heavier as I closed them, telling myself I’d only sleep here for a few minutes.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
What the fuck is that sound?
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It must have been Liza’s alarm. The moment she moved, my eyes sprung open. I was still holding her. I was still spooning Liza and my dick was pressed right against her. I was frozen. Too scared to move. Was she awake? She gently lifted my arm to move it off of her. Shit. I wondered if I should pretend to be asleep and spare us the embarrassment.
I kept my eyes closed as I listened to her move around the room. When I heard the bathroom door close, I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. I sat up and swung my legs over and sat on the edge of the bed, but I couldn’t help thinking about holding Liza all night. All night. The girl of my dreams had been in my arms all night. I shook my head and quickly reached for my jeans, then went to my bag to get a T-shirt. I was startled when my phone buzzed with Jessica’s ring tone. I grabbed it from the desk and answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, handsome. What are you doing?”
I ran my hand through my hair. Oh you know. Sleeping with another woman in my arms. “I’m in Kentucky, about to go look at some horses.”
Jessica laughed. “Sounds like loads of fun.”
“It’s my life now.”
She cleared her throat and asked, “Who are you with?”
I closed my eyes. “Layton and Liza.”
“Liza’s there? Why did she go?” Her voice was laced with hate.
Liza walked out of the bathroom, stopping to look at me. I watched as her eyes moved over my body. That’s when I realized I hadn’t put on my T-shirt yet.