“David, Julia, you made it,” Emma said.
I walked up and hugged my mother and shook my father’s hand. “I didn’t think y’all would be able to make it tonight,” I said.
With one look at Jim, my mother broke down in tears. “Oh. My. Lord. He is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.”
“Hey!” I said. I scooped Jim up from his bassinet and placed him in my mother’s arms.
She tried not to, but she began crying as she sat down on the sofa next to David.
“Mother, please don’t cry.”
She let out a sob. “I’m so sorry. It’s just…I just wish your father could hold him.”
David wrapped his arm around my mother and gently kissed her on the forehead. My heart was beating faster, and I had to excuse myself from the room. I heard Emma call out for me, but I needed fresh air.
As I sat on the bench outside the hospital, I looked up. “Dad, why did you leave us? I really wish you were here.” I placed my face in my hands and tried to concentrate on my breathing. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, and when I looked up, I saw David standing there.
“Do you mind if I sit down?”
I shook my head and slid over just a bit. We sat in silence for a good ten minutes before he took a deep breath and let it out.
“After your sister was born, I felt the same way you feel right now, son. Oh, how I wished my mama and daddy could see her. She is a true gift from God. I remember Billy sitting on this same exact bench when his first child was born, feeling the same way you’re feeling. I didn’t have the words to make him feel better, just like I don’t have the words to make you feel better. We all suffer losses in our lives. Some suffer greater than others, but each loss is significant to the person left behind. Your father has been with you this entire time, son. He’s never left your side, and I’m pretty sure if I asked you right now, if you’ve ever felt his presence, you would tell me yes. It’s unfair in a way.”
I looked at him and asked, “What’s unfair?”
“Being left behind and still feeling the pain for those who we have lost.”
I nodded my head. “Yes, it is. Just when I think I’m okay, something happens, and I miss him. I’ll smell the same cologne he wore, or a memory will pop into my head, or…or knowing my children will never know their grandfather.”
David let out a giggle. “They will know him, Garrett. You will make sure that they know him. You’ll talk about him often, and you’ll share stories and advice he gave you. They might not be able to physically know him, but they will know him.”
I quickly wiped a tear away and smiled. “David, I don’t think I’ve ever really thanked you.”
He turned and looked at me as he raised his eyebrow at me. “Thanked me for what?”
“Everything you did for me and Mama after Daddy passed away. Thank you for helping with the ranch while I was in school and for showing me everything my father would have shown me. Thank you for loving my mother. I really am glad you two found each other, and I know Daddy would want her to be with someone he trusted and loved.”
I held my breath as I saw David’s eyes fill with tears.
He reached for me and pulled me in for a hug. “You’ll never know how much that means to me, son.”
He slapped me hard on the back, and then he sat back and wiped away his tears. “Now, Garrett, I’m going to give you some advice my daddy gave me when Billy was born.”
I nodded my head. “Okay, I’m listening.”
“Help Emma out as much as possible. This baby took two to make, and it will take two of y’all to raise. You do your part in helping out with everything. That means, if you have to scrub your own britches, you scrub your own britches, so she can rest.”
I nodded my head. “Yes, sir.”
“Now, here is the big one—write her a letter.”
I pulled my head back and looked at him with a confused expression. “A letter? What kind of letter?”
He smiled a crooked smile. “A letter telling her how you’ve felt—from the moment she told you she was having your child to watching her belly grow, and most of all, to holding your child in your arms for the first time. Write it down while it is fresh in your memory, son. Then, after you get home, when it feels like the right time, you give her that letter. Take the baby and go for a walk, so she has some time alone when she reads it.”
I smiled and asked, “Did you write one to Mama after Lily was born?”