I let out a small laugh. My heart was screaming for me to go to Josh and beg him to be with me, but my head was telling me something all together different.
“Ells, do you honestly believe that a guy like Josh is really interested in a girl like me?”
“What the hell does that mean, Heather? A girl like you? You’re beautiful, funny, and smart as hell. Yes! I do believe a guy like Josh would be lucky as hell to have a girl like you. ”
“My heart wants him so badly, but my head tells me that he’ll never be true to me. He’ll never be happy with just me. ”
“I don’t believe that for one minute. Just because he was a player in college doesn’t mean that he can’t find a girl to love and be with just her. Deep down inside, Josh is a sweetheart. Did you know that he’s a Big Brother? He meets with his little brother at least once a week and pays for all of his sports at school because his single mom can’t afford it. He’s also helped build three Habitat for Humanity houses, and he’s helped his dad make all the pews for their church. He told Gunner and me that his dream is to make custom furniture and take over his dad’s business someday. He has as straight head on his shoulders, Heather. He just needs to find that right girl to round it all out. ”
I sat there in a state of shock. I didn’t know any of that. Josh had never once mentioned any of those things. My heart was hurting even more.
“I just wish my mother and father were here. They would tell me what to do. ”
Ellie looked at me, and then stood up and grabbed my hand pulling me into a hug.
“Oh god, Heather. I know how much you miss your parents, baby, but I promise you that they would’ve told you this has to be your decision. Only you know your heart, Heather. I know how much you depended on your dad and how much of a rock he was for you. But, baby, you need to know that you can do this on your own. You can’t be afraid to let someone else into your heart because you’re afraid of losing them. ”
I pulled back and smiled at my best friend. Then, I thought about Ari.
“How’s Ari?”
“Come on, we’ll talk
on the way to the bar…or as Gunner keeps calling it, the honky-tonk. ”
Hooking our arms together, we started back toward the house.
Gunner was leaning up against his truck, talking on his cell phone. He didn’t look very happy.
This whole damn day just sucked.
As we got closer, Gunner hung up and looked at Ellie.
“What’s wrong?” Ellie asked Gunner.
He pushed his hands through his hair.
“That was Jeff. He just needed to talk to someone. I guess Ari’s been crying nonstop, and Jeff is doing nothing but blaming himself. I’d really like to go into Austin and give Rebecca a goddamn kick in the ass. ”
“Maybe we shouldn’t go out. I mean, with Ari in the hospital and Jeff so upset…Gunner, maybe we should go back to the hospital. ”
“I asked him if he wanted us to and he said no. He and Ari really need to be alone. Come on, let’s get going. I’ve got two beautiful women I need to take dancing tonight. ”
Gunner held open the doors for Ellie and me to get into his truck. Leaning in, and helped Ellie buckle her seat belt, and then kissed her and told her he loved her.
My heart swelled at the love these two had for each other.
Will I ever find that kind of love?
A part of me knew I already found it…
And then let it go.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
GUNNER
On the way into town, Ellie filled Heather in on everything that had happened with Ari and Jeff. I still couldn’t believe how crazy Rebecca was. Thank God Jeff found out now before he got attached to the baby.