“Then, Dad told me where on the ranch you would be getting married. ” Shaking his head, he let out another small laugh.
“Drew, I think it’s about time I told you the truth about why I was such a damn hard ass on you your whole life. ”
“Dad, really, it’s alright. I don’t want you to get yourself worked up when you’re here to relax. ”
My dad smiled at me, leaning back into the chair again.
“Ever since you were little, I could see you were gonna be just like your grandfather, kind heart but hard-as-hell shell. I remember taking you out to a spot here on the ranch. I sat there with you as we watched the cattle. One of the calves was hurt, and you begged me to do something to help her. You couldn’t have been more than five years old. I told you that she’d be fine. I said I’d let Gramps know, so he could make her better. You looked up at me and smiled. I’ll never forget what you said to me then. ”
I tried so hard to remember what he was telling me. Honestly, I couldn’t recall my dad ever being at the ranch with me. Every time I came to visit, I remembered coming by myself. Either I’d fly on a plane on my own and Gramps and Grams would pick me up at the airport, or if we were stationed close by, my parents would drop me off and then turn around and leave.
“What did I say, Dad?”
He turned to look at me with tears in his eyes. Motherfucker.
“You stood up and put your hands on your hips. You told me flat-out, ‘I’m gonna grow up and be just like Gramps. I’m gonna help all the cows, and I’m gonna be a rancher, a really, really good rancher Daddy. I’m even gonna marry me a girl right here on this very spot. ’”
I let out a laugh. I remembered telling Gramps millions of times that I was gonna be a better rancher than he was. I stopped saying that when I was old enough for him to slap me on the back side of my head while he told me that no one, except for God, would ever be a better rancher than him.
“Something happened to me in that moment, Drew. I panicked. When I was growing up, I had wanted nothing more than to be just like my father. I wanted to walk in his footsteps and to take over the ranch someday. Jim couldn’t have cared less about the ranch. He’d always wanted the big fancy house in the city. I’d wanted the country life. I’d wanted to marry me a girl in the same exact spot you said you did when you were only five years old. ”
I was so confused that I had to shake my head. “Wait…you always said how much you hated it here. If I ever even talked about the ranch, you used to get pissed at me. I always ended in a fight, and then you’d threaten me with military school. If you wanted to run the ranch, why did you leave?”
My dad stood up, walked over to the edge of the porch, and leaned against the post.
“Drew, I left because I was afraid. I was afraid that I’d never be able to walk in the footprints of my own father. I almost killed your grandfather once. During my senior year of high school, I was helping him bring in the cattle for vaccinations. Dad was yelling at me to do it a certain way, but I thought my way was better. Long story short, his horse reared up, and he fell off. He almost got trampled to death, and it was all my fault. He never once said it, but I knew that it was. I was a stubborn asshole who had to prove that I could do it better than him. ”
Holy shit. I’d never heard this story before in my life. My dad turned to look at me, and I could see the tears glistening in his eyes.
“I knew at that very moment, I had to leave. I’d only ever wanted to be a rancher, so college was out of the question for me. I went into town the next day and joined the Army. This was my easy out. So, that day, when you were five and you declared your dream to me, I panicked again. I thought the only way to keep you from making the same mistake as me was to keep you from following that dream. ”
He shook his head and walked over to me. He slapped me on the back and then sat back down.
“The only thing is…you’re a Mathews. It’s in your goddamn blood, just like it’s still in mine. When I sit here, I smell the country air and hear the noises of this ranch, and it takes every part of me not to go saddle up a damn horse and rope me calf. ” He laughed again.
“Dad…I don’t even know what to say. I’m stunned. I never knew that the story of you and Gramps or how you really felt about the ranch. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Oh shit, Drew. Someday when you and Ellie have kids, you’ll see the stupid shit you do, thinking you’re doing the right thing for them. I thought I was doing what was best for you, but in my heart, I knew all along that I was keeping you from your dream. I was just too full of pride to admit that I was wrong. ”
“All those years, Dad…they were just wasted. ”
He nodded his head. “When Garrett told me where you were getting married… well, I think that was the beginning of my heart attack,” He said with a gruff laugh.
“What?” I asked, completely confused.
He turned and looked at me, I saw a tear rolling down his cheek.
“Drew, you got married under the same tree that you and I had sat under when you were five. I was that same tree where you’d declared to me you were gonna become a rancher and then marry you a girl in that very spot. ”
I felt a chill run up and down my spine. No fucking way.
“When I was growing up, I used to ride my horse out to that big ol’ oak tree I’d just there for hours. It was my place to think. I knew you also went there a lot when you were growing up. Your Gramps told me plenty of times when he saw you sitting under that tree. ”
“Dad…I don’t even…” I couldn’t even finish my thought.
He stood up.
“I’m so damn proud of you, son. I know that I’ve never once led you to believe that I was proud of you, but I truly am. You knew what you wanted. You knew what your dreams were, and you went for it, even when your stubborn, stupid old man tried to hold you back from it. And Ellie…you lucky son of a bitch…you sure did take after me in that area. You sure as shit know how to pick the right woman, son. I just had to look at the two of you to know how perfect you are for each other. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here for your wedding, but, if you’ll have me, I loved to be here for you to help with the ranch and to someday…. ” As his voice cracked, he paused to clear his throat.