Closing her eyes, she put her head back against the wall. Leaning down, I started to kiss her neck.
Two minutes ago, I’d been ready to ask the way to her bedroom. There was no way in hell that I was going to that now. Now, all I wanted to do was make her feel cherished.
“Princess, look at me. ”
As she lifted her head up, her blue eyes captured mine, and I saw was sadness. My heart broke in two.
“I’d never do anything that you weren’t ready to do, Heather. Ever. ”
“Josh…I really want…” She paused, stopping mid-sentence.
“You really want what?”
The look in her eyes suddenly turned to pure panic. She started to shake her head.
“I need you to put me down!” she practically shouted.
“What?” I asked, confused.
“Put me down, Josh. Now!”
What the hell is happening?
I put her down, and the moment her feet hit the floor, she pushed me away.
“Heather, I don’t understand. What’s going on? What did I do?”
Turning away from me, she walked into the living room and stopped at the front window, staring outside.
“I really think you need to leave now. This was a bad idea. I was stupid to think that we could ever just be friends. You’ll always want more than this. ”
Motherfucker. My head was spinning.
“Um… I’m sorry, princess, but it sure seemed like you also wanted more a few seconds ago. What changed?”
When she turned around, I almost lost my breath. She was crying.
“Don’t ever call me princess again. I don’t want anything more than friendship with you. I’ll never want anything more than that. I had a moment of weakness. It must have been because of the wine or something. I don’t want you, Josh, not in that way. I’m sorry if I led you on. I think it would be best if we just stopped right now. ”
I didn’t know what to say. I had seen the look in her eyes. I knew she had wanted me as much as I’d wanted her. Why is she pushing me away?
“Heather…if I walk out this door right now, I’ll keep in mind everything that you just said to me. I promise you that I’ll never approach you again with anything more than friendship. I just need you to make sure that this is what you really want. I have feelings for you. Honestly, I feel things for you that I’ve never in my life felt for any other girl, and that scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to walk away from you, but if you tell me that you don’t have any feelings for me, then I’ll leave. I won’t ever bring it up again. ”
I watched her as she just stared at me with tears where rolling down her face. I walked up to her and reached out to wipe them away. When she took a step back, I almost dropped to my knees.
She quickly wiped her tears from her eyes. Looking right into my eyes, she said,
“I don’t have feelings for you other than friendship. I’m sorry. ”
My whole world shattered into a million pieces. How could I be so happy one minute and then feel so incredibly sad the next?
I had never in my life cried, but at that moment, I felt like I was about to lose it. Quickly backing away from her, I turned to grab my keys off the counter.
“I’m sorry, Heather. I guess I’ll see you on Wednesday at Garrett and Emma’s party. ”
I walked to the door, and every ounce of me was praying that she would stop me. I gave up all hope by the time I got to my truck. Once outside, I sat there for a minute, watching her door.
Then, I started my truck and drove away from the one thing that I thought would finally make me feel happy and complete in this world.