“What did I do to her, Ellie? I was trying to apologize, and she’s being a bitch about it.” I faced Ari. Her expres
sion was blank, and I wished I could rewind the clock. Why the hell did I always fuck things up?
“You slept with that girl, Jefferson. You knew that was going to hurt Ari; you knew it would.” Ellie’s voice cracked.
“Hurt Ari? Why would it hurt Ari? She didn’t seem to act like she cared too much about me last night while dirty dancing with every Tom, Dick, and Harry she could find.”
Ari shook her head at me, like she couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. Why were they so damn angry? It wasn’t like Ari was my girlfriend . . . half the time she acted like she couldn’t stomach being around me.
“Is that what it is, Ari? Are you upset because I slept with another girl, because the last time I checked, sweetheart, I didn’t have a girlfriend.” I shouted it, not being able to control my own anger.
“Do not call me ‘sweetheart,’ you son of a bitch,” Ari replied back to me. Her voice sounded soft and defeated. When a tear ran down her cheek, I wanted to punch myself in the face. Again. This was becoming a new thing with me, it seemed.
Gunner tried to step in and get the train wreck under control but ended up pissing off Ellie with something he said. Truth be told, I hadn’t heard anything the two of them were saying back and forth. The only thing I could focus on was Ari. The sadness in her eyes was there because of me.
God, I was a stupid idiot.
I opened my mouth to tell her I fucked up, that all I could think about last night, hell, the last two years, was her. She was the reason I was going mad. Driving myself fucking insane and doing this stupid shit because deep down I was scared to death that I would give my heart to her and risk losing her as a friend. I was a selfish bastard who needed her in my life. Any way I could take her.
Ari’s head tilted slightly as her eyes searched mine. It was like she was waiting for me to say something to her that would magically make the last twenty-four hours disappear.
But I didn’t say anything, because I had hurt her and I deserved whatever hell she wanted to put me through.
When her body straightened and she regained control of her emotions, the sadness in her eyes was replaced by something else. What it was exactly, I couldn’t tell, and I was afraid to find out.
Gunner and Ellie were next to me. Their voices were muffled.
“Can I please say that I couldn’t care less what this dickwad does, okay?” Ari said, pulling me out of the fog. “So, Jeff, have at it. Fuck whoever you damn well please, ’cause you’re right, we have nothing together.”
Her words felt like a knife slowly pushing into my chest. The pain was real . . . I felt it and nearly wanted to drop to my knees.
“We never have, and as you made it so very clear last night, we never will. I got your message loud and clear.” She tried to fight it and stay strong, but another tear slipped from her eyes, and I lost it. Walking toward her, I was ready to get on my damn hands and knees and beg her to forgive me.
“Fuck, Ari, please let me explain. Please just let me explain. I wasn’t trying to hurt you last night. I got angry, and you were flirting and—”
Ellie cut me off as she went into another attack on Gunner. Ari’s eyes bounced back and forth from Ellie to Gunner. She looked agitated that Ellie had cut me off, and I know I sure as hell was.
The next thing I knew, Ellie stormed off and headed to Gunner’s bedroom.
Ari and I looked at each other, and I went to talk, but she held up her hand. “Don’t. Please just stop. I can’t do this with you right now.”
My mouth shut, and I stood there like an idiot when I should have been begging for her forgiveness. “I need you to understand, Ari.”
She shook her head and turned her body away from me. She looked at her phone and walked to the front door.
“Ari, please let me take you home so we can talk,” I pleaded, but she completely ignored me, as if she was trying to keep up the fort she had quickly built up around her.
Ellie and Gunner came back out, and my sister was pissed.
“Ellie, let me drive you both home,” Gunner pleaded.
Ari cleared her throat. “We don’t need a ride—thank you, Gunner. And no, Jeff, you cannot take me home so we can talk. We have nothing to talk about.”
A lump formed at the base of my throat, making it hard to breathe.
“How are you getting home, Ari?” Gunner asked.
“I sent a friend a text message asking him if he could take Ellie and me back to my house.”