“Fuck, I need a beer after that mental image,” Josh stated.
The waitress looked at Jeff. He pointed to his water. “I’ll stick with water.”
She turned and headed away from our table.
Josh pulled his eyes off her ass and looked at us. “As hot as she is and as much as I want to face-plant between her tits, there is no way I would ever do that with y’al
l.”
“You afraid my dick is bigger than yours?” Jeff asked as I laughed and took a drink of water.
“You wish, asshole. My dick would put your dick to shame. He’d be too afraid to come out and play.”
“Ha! I say we let our cute little waitress decide who has the bigger dick.”
My eyes widened as I stared at the two of them.
“Are you serious right now? Are y’all really comparing your dicks and thinking of asking the waitress to decide who is better hung?”
They both looked at me and answered at the same time. “Yes.”
I rolled my eyes and went back to the menu.
“Hell, she just asked about fucking all three of us at once. You honestly think she’d have a problem comparing my dick to Josh’s?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care. Can we just drop this conversation, please? It’s sort of creeping me out.”
The waitress was back with my sweet tea and Josh’s beer.
“You boys know what you want?”
Jeff and Josh both stared up at her and said, “Yes.” Then they looked at each other and frowned.
“I’ll take the Newport chicken club,” I announced.
She smiled and asked, “You want fries, chips, or salsa?”
“Fries.”
She nodded and then focused on the two idiots who were still staring at her.
“I’ll take the Sonora quesadillas,” Jeff said with a smile and wink.
“And what may I get for you?”
“Your number,” Josh stated.
Flipping her notebook, she wrote her number down and handed it to Josh, then turned to Jeff and did the same thing. When she looked at me, I shook my head.
“No, thanks.”
She jerked her shoulder up and turned back to Josh. “What can I get you foodwise, honey?”
“I’ll take the migas, please.”
“Would you like bacon, ham, or sausage for an additional charge?”
He shook his head. “I’ll take toast, though, please.”