I laughed. “Bye, sweets. Talk to you later. ” I set my phone down on the table, and then I closed my eyes as I thought about the last few days.
The image of our baby on the monitor as the nurse had congratulated me popped into my head.
My eyes flew open. “Oh god. Why didn’t I just tell him the moment I found out?” I said out loud.
I picked up my phone and looked at the time. I jumped up and ran into the house, heading upstairs to change out of my pajamas. I wasn’t going to waste another moment. I would just go to Josh’s apartment and tell him.
I grabbed his T-shirt off the floor and slipped it over my head before I pulled on a pair of jean shorts. I smiled as I thought about telling him. The way he’d put his hand on my stomach last night as he mentioned kids warmed my heart.
Oh shit. He said “someday,” meaning…not right now. What if he freaks out about it? He was just getting used to the idea of us, and now, I’m going to throw a baby into it.
I shook my head and cleared my thoughts. Amanda’s right. I need to do this.
I ran downstairs and skidded to a stop. Fuck! My car is at Josh’s parents’ house.
Neither of us had given a second thought about leaving my car behind when we headed to the dance hall yesterday. I glanced over and saw my dad’s car keys hanging up next to the back door. Although I had kept my dad’s Lexus, I would only drive it every now and then. Smiling, I walked up and grabbed the keys.
“Okay, Daddy, let’s go tell Josh he’s gonna be a father. ”
Chapter Twenty-Five
I sat there, bouncing my knee up and down, as I ran my hands along the thighs of my jeans.
“Brad, just take a deep breath. She’s going to come,” Bryan said as he smiled.
“My parents are not going to be here, right? My fucking mother is the cause of all this. ”
Bryan let out a laugh. “Brad, you’re a grown man. You made the choice to take drugs. ”
I looked down at the ground. I knew he was right, but at this moment, I hated my mother. She had constantly pushed Amanda and me, and she was the reason Amanda and I had fought in the first place.
“I know what you’re thinking, Brad. Yes, your mother played a big role in all of this, but you have a decision to make right now. Do you continue to let your mother control your world? Or will you do what you wanted to do when you first met Amanda?”
Just then, I heard her voice, and I jumped up. The door opened, and Amanda walked in. For a brief moment, it almost looked like she was going to run into my arms. As I glanced down at her stomach, my heart started pounding. She was a lot bigger. I looked back up into her eyes, and I smiled. The look she gave me was blank, like she had nothing left to give. Her eyes were bloodshot, so I knew she must have been crying. This couldn’t be good for her or the baby.
Bryan got up, walked o
ver to Amanda, and shook her hand. “Amanda. It’s a pleasure,” he said as he gestured for her to take a seat.
“Bryan, the pleasure is mine. ”
The moment she spoke, her voice ran through my whole body. She looked over at me and gave me a weak smile before sitting down across from me. Bryan had only put three chairs in the room, and he’d purposely placed Amanda’s chair across from me.
“You look breathtaking. You’re getting bigger,” I said as I smiled.
She placed her hands on her stomach and nodded. “Yeah, she’s been moving around a lot more lately. ”
My heart dropped into my stomach, and I felt like I was going to throw up. She found out the sex of the baby without me. I tried to talk, but nothing would come out. I cleared my throat. “You, um…you found out the sex of the baby?” I felt tears building in my eyes.
Her eyes snapped up and met mine. “No! I would never…I mean. . . ” She took a deep breath and looked away from me. “I was waiting to see if you could there when I have the next sonogram. Well, I mean, I was going to ask you today if you wanted to be there. ”
I smiled, and my eyes captured hers. “Yes. More than anything, I want to be there. ”
She nodded and attempted to smile. “Okay. Well, it’ll be just a few more weeks, and then we’ll know. ”
Bryan cleared his throat and then began our session. He talked about how well my treatment was going, how he thought I might be able to finish up the program a few weeks early, and how I should handle the situation with my mother. I looked at Amanda as Bryan started talking about my mom. Amanda began moving around in her seat.
“Brad, would you like to tell Amanda what we talked about?”