Ellie came skipping over and skidded to a stop. “It’s almost midnight! Eeepp! Gunner, will you throw a few more trees on the fire?”
Gunner jumped up and stumbled before Ellie reached out to him. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked as she looked at Jeff with her hands on her hips.
“Oh my God. Why are you looking at me like that? He’s a grown man, I didn’t make him drink!”
Ellie gave Jeff the evil eye and then turned back to Gunner. “Baby, don’t drink anymore. I need you to not be drunk so we can…well you know,” she said as she winked at a smiling Gunner and then grinned at Jeff.
“Yuck. Gross. You’re a brat, Ellie. ” Jeff jumped up and made his way over toward Ari. He walked up behind her and picked her up and spun her around before setting her down and turning her around to face him. He kissed the shit out of her as she smiled from ear to ear.
I rubbed Amanda’s back and said, “Gunner, I’ll help you throw a few trees on. ” Amanda quickly gave me a kiss and then looked at her cell phone. “Oh gosh. Just fifteen minutes!”
Gunner and I quickly threw three more Christmas trees into the bonfire. The heat coming from it was perfect for this chilly night. Everyone began making their way over to the bonfire.
We all stood around the fire as each person said one thing that was for him or her, the best part of the last year. Of course Amanda said the birth of Meg. I couldn’t pick one…I had so many. When it was my turn I just smiled and said, “My wife’s love. ” It was her love that pulled me back from the brink. It was her love that saved me from so much.
We counted down to zero and then kissed our loved ones. Before I kissed Amanda, I glanced over to all my friends. They were all kissing and laughing. I turned and looked into Amanda’s eyes.
“Happy New Year, pumpkin,” I said as I placed my hand on the side of her face.
“Happy New Year, Brad,” she whispered to me, before reaching up on her toes and bringing her lips to mine. As we kissed, every happy memory from last year just flooded my mind.
“To a new year filled with nothing but happy memories and lots of love,” Amanda said as she pulled away and looked up at me.
I grinned and nodded my head. I didn’t doubt what she said was true. I was going to be able to be home with her and Meg. Be there for every step of the pregnancy and build my wife her dream home.
Yes. Yes, it was going to be a year filled with lots of happy memories and even more love.
She tilted her head and looked at me. “Do you think this year will be the best yet?”
I couldn’t help but smile bigger and let out a small chuckle.
“Yeah, baby. I believe anything is possible with you by my side. ”
Amanda bit down on her lower lip as I leaned down and captured her lips with mine. I wasn’t sure how long we kissed for, but all I knew was I had never been so happy and so at peace in my life. I thought back to how Bryan had told me in therapy I only had to believe. Believe in my own strength. Believe in the love of my friends and family and believe that only I had control of my future.
As I stood there and held my wife in my arms I thought about that word. The definition of believe is to “accept as true. ”
I smiled to myself and looked up at the night sky as I whispered,
“I believe. ”
Chapter 11: Amanda
The pain. Shit, I don’t remember this kind of pain before. I grabbed onto the side rails and tried to ride out the contraction. Brad was just about to tell me to breathe through it when I held up my hand.
“Stop! I swear. To God. If you tell me. One. More. Time. To breathe. Through the pain. I’m going to make you hurt. ”
“Ah, duly noted. No more breathing through the pain,” Brad said with a smile.
“Brad, go find the damn nurse and tell her I want the epidural now!” I said through gritted teeth.
“Honey, are you sure?”
I snapped my head and looked at him.
“But the plan, baby. You told me if…”
I grabbed him by the t-shirt. “I swear to God, Brad, if you ever want to have sex with me again, you’ll find that bitch and tell her I want the epidural…now!”