“Jesus, Ari calm down! No…. I’m pretty sure Gunner has NOT told her that, and NO he has not told me that. But…. . ” I left Ari hanging as I got up and started to unpack my things.
“BUT? But what Ells holy shit…. don’t leave me hanging here!”
I looked at Ari and then jumped on her bed. I had been dying to tell her but was afraid I had just taken it wrong.
“Okay well I’ve been dying to say something to you but I thought it was just the alcohol and all of that. The night of Brad’s birthday party when Gunner and Jeff got so drunk, I helped Gunner to bed right?”
“YES, YES…I know all of this…. fast forward please…. . ”
I laughed at Ari and shook my head. “Well, as he was falling asleep he might have said something like I love you Ellie…. . I don’t really remember exactly what he said because I was in shock. ”
Ari sat there stunned. Her mouth slowly started to drop open as she just stared at me. I reached over and used my finger to shut her mouth but it fell back open. I let out a giggle as she just kept staring at me.
“You trying to catch flies with that mouth open like that?”
“Holy shit…. Jesus, Mary and Joseph Ellie……how…. why in the fuck have you not told me this before now?”
I just shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I guess because he was drunk and all. I mean a lot of people say shit when they are drunk that they don’t really mean. I guess I’ve just learned to ignore what drunks say because of my mother. He might have just been saying it because I was helping him to bed or something. ”
“Or something! He might have been saying it because he actually DOES love you! What the fuck is wrong with you and your brother? You both can’t see what is in front of your faces. Drives me crazy Ells. ”
I let out a sigh. A part of me wanted to believe that Gunner was in love with me but the other part…the other part that knew better.
You will never be wanted by anyone…….
“Ari listen, we’ve not even been together long enough for Gunner to fall in love with me. And three weeks of that time we were not even speaking to each other. It’s way too soon for him to be feeling anything like that for me. Way…. . way too soon. ”
“Whatever Ells, you may not notice it but I see the way he has to catch his breath when you walk in a room. Or the way he can’t keep his eyes off of you for a single minute. The way he smiles at you even makes my ass swoon. I don’t care what you say Ellie Johnson. Drew Mathews loves you. ”
I tried to give Ari a smile. I really wished I could believe her, but something was holding me back.
The rest of the day was spent helping Emma cook dinner. We learned how to make Chicken and Dumpling’s as well as Emma’s super secret apple pie. I was in awe of Emma. She was everything I would have ever wanted in a mother. I was falling in love with her as each minute passed.
Ari never ceased to amaze me. I sat there and watched her as she moved around this country kitchen like she grew up here! The way she interacted with Emma like she was Emma’s granddaughter and had known her her whole life. A part of me was envious that Ari got to have such a normal childhood growing up. A mom and dad, grandparents……. the whole thing and all I got was a drunken mother who told me every chance she got how worthless I was.
You will never be wanted by anyone………….
I must have been lost in my thoughts because I never even saw Emma walk over. She cupped my face with her hands and looked deep into my eyes and for some reason, my eyes started to tear up. What the hell? She really did have magic powers!
“Ellie, let go of the past sweetheart. Just let it fall away from you and look at what you have surrounding you right now. Look at the people who love you and want you to be happy. ”
I felt the tears running down my face. WHAT THE FUCK? I never cry in front of people. I looked over at Ari who was watching. She had flour on her cheek right under her eye and I just started to laugh when I saw it. Emma took me in her arms and held me. I had never felt loved so much as I did in that moment. Could Ari be right, could someone love you this much and this fast? I completely lost it and started sobbing.
“Oh my gosh…I don’t know what’s wrong with me! I’m so sorry!” I said as Emma held me close to her and stoked my hair.
“Shhhh, baby girl. ” Emma turned and had Ari walk over to us. Ari knelt down and looked at me.
“I told you Ells…. I told you. ”
Just then the door opened to the kitchen and I lifted my head to see Gunner walk in. His smile quickly faded and he looked like someone had punched him in the gut. I instantly felt like a stupid idiot.
“Baby what’s wrong?” Gunner said as he walked up and dropped to his knees at my side. Emma let me go and smiled down at Gunner. She took a step back and looked at me with a smile that made my heart melt.
“Nothing is wrong Drew. Ellie just needed a good cry that’s all. I think tonight would be the perfect night for your surprise for Ellie Drew. ” Emma said as Gunner looked up at her and she gave him a wink.
What did Gunner have planned? My heart started to beat faster. I looked over and just stared into his beautiful blue eyes. They looked…. . bluer for some reason. They had a spark in them I had never noticed bef
ore.