“I guess we could use some help moving?” I said with a small smile on my face.
“YES we could! Jason is leaving for Europe today so maybe Gunner can help…huh??? Call him Ellie…you have been miserable sweets. ”
“What about Jefferson. I haven’t seen him in two weeks. Would you be okay with him coming over?”
“Of course I would be! We need to get things back to normal between us. Besides, I’m happy with Jason so being around Jeff will be fine. ” Ari said as she attempted to give me a sincere smile.
Bullshit! She was not happy and I could tell. When she was around Jason she seemed lost. She actually seemed happy when he told her he was going to Europe with his dad and brother on a hiking trip and was not sure how long it would be until he got back.
“Call him Ellie. ”
I picked up the phone and dialed his number. The moment I heard his voice the tears started to roll down my face. Oh god how I missed him.
“Ellie……thank you for calling me sweetheart…. . ” Gunner said my name with such a sadness I almost couldn’t talk.
“G…Gunner……” It was all I could get out. I lost it and started crying.
“Oh baby no…. please no don’t cry Ellie. ”
“I’m so sorry…. . I …. . I just…”
“No…don’t you apologize for anything Ellie. Please don’t it was entirely my fault…. don’t cry baby please. ”
I sat there for another minute or two and cried. Gunner waited patiently for me to settle enough to where I could talk. This was it…. I was going to put my heart out there and pray to God it would be safe with this man.
“Gunner, I’m just so scared……I’m so scared of the feelings I have for you. They are so strong and I am so afraid if I give you my heart it will shatter in a million pieces if you break it and I’ll be left like my mother. I can’t let that happen…. . I won’t let that happen. But…………. . I can’t live my life without you in it either. I’m so confused. ”
I heard Gunner take a sharp intake of air. He slowly let out his air and I thought I heard him…. . crying…. . no now I was just hearing things. He started to talk but had to clear his voice.
“Ellie, I have never in my life…. . ever sweetheart…. experienced these feelings that I have for you. You walk into a room and I have to catch my breath at the sight of you. You flash your beautiful smile at me and there’s not a damn thing in this world I wouldn’t do for you. Your laugh moves through my body like a jolt of electricity. Your eyes captivate mine; your lips bring me to my knees. I want to know every part of you Ellie. I’m just as confused by these feelings as you are sweetheart but I want you to know something, I’ll never push you or give up on us I promise you that. Please Ellie, please just let me in. Let me prove to you how much I want to be with you. ”
Oh my……. in my deepest hidden fantasies I never dreamed of hearing anyone say such beautiful things to me. Never. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my throat. I know Ari heard every word Gunner said because she was sitting right next to me holding my hand and she was crying just as much as I was. We both looked at each other and Ari smiled and mouthed to me ‘I told you so’. I wanted to laugh but I didn’t want Gunner to think I was laughing at what he just said to me.
“Ummm…. Ellie you still there?” Ari hit me in the shoulder to snap me out of it.
I cleared my throat and tried to wipe away my tears. As soon as I wiped them away more tears just rolled down my face. “Yes Gunner I’m still here. I…. . I don’t even know what to say but…but…. that was the most beautiful thing anyone as ever said to me. I’m afraid I might be dreaming and…. ” I couldn’t say another word.
My eyes captivate his…. . my lips bring him to his knees……
Next thing I knew Ari took the phone from my hand.
“Um yeah Gunner, I think you’ve left her in a speechless state of happiness here. She is just staring off into space with a dopy smile on her face. ” I felt like I was listening to Ari speak from a bubble.
You walk into a room and I have to catch my breath at the sight of you………
“We’re moving into the guest house on my parents property today since the last two weeks of apartment hunting got us nowhere but fucking depressed. We sure could use a little man power to help us move. I know Ells mentioned she wanted to see Jeff so if he is available also? Great! Y’all come on over anytime. Let me see if she is able to talk now. ”
Ari handed me the phone and I just smiled before I even heard his sweet voice.
“Gunner…. ”
“Ellie I’m on my way over right now. ” I had to let out a laugh. The butterflies in my stomach went into hyper speed mood. I had not seen him in three weeks and he was on his way over right now. I jumped up off the bed.
“Okay…. I’ll see you soon!”
“Bye sweetheart” Gunner said so soft and sweet.
I started to cry again……I was really doing this. I was going to give him my heart and pray to god he guarded it with his life.