“It looks like he found someone else to go home with. ”
“Ellie, he is just dancing honey and you told him to. ” Jefferson looked back out to the dance floor. I saw him frown. I looked back out…. . they were still going at it. Now she was turned back around but Gunner still had his hands on her hips and they were really moving. Gunner’s back was facing me now.
“I want to leave…. NOW. ” I shouted at Jefferson.
“Okay Ellie Jesus…. . ” Jefferson took my hand and we started to leave. I took one last look towards Gunner. He didn’t even know I was leaving. My heart felt like someone was squeezing the life out of it. This is why I could not give my heart to anyone again. If he truly wanted me he would not be dancing with some girl like he was ready to fuck her right there on the dance floor. All I could hear was my mother’s voice over and over in my head.
You will never be wanted by anyone………
As soon as we got outside the club I stopped and took a deep breath in.
“Ellie, I don’t understand why you are getting so upset. You have told Gunner y’all are only friends. You told him to dance with Lori and then you get upset because he does. ”
“What?” I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Did you not see how they were dancing? Did you not see what I saw because to me they were practically fucking on the dance floor!” I screamed back at Jefferson louder than I wanted to.
“Oh my god Ellie…. they’re just dancing. Everyone dances like that! Stop acting like this and decide what you want! Do you want Gunner as more than a friend or not? If you do then go back in there and tell Lori to take a fucking hike…. if not…. then…. . . ”
“Then what Jefferson? What? Please tell me because you are such an expert in this field. ” Jefferson looked stunned.
“You’re right. I need to just keep my mouth shut. Let’s get you to your car. ”
Jefferson walked me the short distance to my car in silence. “I’m sorry Jefferson, it’s just that I’m so scared of the feelings I have for Gunner. I don’t see what he really sees in me when he can have someone like that Lori or Crysti. ” I said as a tear escaped from my eyes and rolled down my face. Jefferson wiped it away.
“Ellie, like I told you before honey, you are exactly what Gunner is looking for. You are beautiful, smart and you make him happy. You’re not one of those girls who will fall into bed with the first good looking guy who gives them attention. You have to stop hearing moms words play over in your head. You are not mom. You never will be. You have to stop pushing him away. He wants to be with you. ”
“He sure didn’t look like it tonight while dancing. ”
“I know you think that Ellie, but honey you have to see it from his point of view. You practically pushed him to her tonight. Of course she is going to try and make you jealous ‘cause she is a bitch who’s been after Gunner for three years now. I’m sure he was hurt by you telling him to go dance. He made a mistake Ells. ” Jefferson said has he lifted my chin to look up at him.
“I know how it feels to make a stupid decision. Please just talk to him when he calls you okay?”
I took a deep breath and tried to smile. “I just want to get home. Thanks for walking me to my car Jefferson. You’re a great big brother. I love you. ” I said as I stood on my tippy toes to kiss him.
He bent down and gave me hug. “I love you too Ells…more than you will ever know. ”
I got in the car and watched Jefferson walk back towards Rebels. My hands started to shake and all I could hear was my mother’s voice telling me how I would end up alone like her. I would never be good enough to keep someone like Gunner Mathews happy for long.
I pulled out of the parking space and started driving back home to Ari’s. That same sick feeling I kept getting off and on today was now back. I felt the tears rolling down my face as I touched the daisy necklace around my neck.
You will never be wanted by anyone……….
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
Gunner……
I was so pissed at Ellie for pulling out the fucking friend’s card again. Even after I tried to tell Lori I didn’t want to dance Ellie practically pushed me onto the dance floor. Soon as the music started Lori started grinding her ass into my dick. I had to close my eyes and act like it was Ellie I was dancing with just to get through it.
Lori did a pretty damn good job keeping me turned away from Ellie. When the song ended I turned around to see Ellie was no longer at the table…. neither was Jeff. She was gone.
FUCK!
I made a bee line towards the table. Lori ran up and grabbed my arm. “HEY! Where are you going? Let’s have some fun tonight. I made sure your little friend got the right impression. ” Lori said as she looked up at me with a smug look on her face.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Well, you know…. I made sure she knew she was a little too young to be trying to play with the big kids…if you know what I mean. ” She said as she stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked on it and then tried to put it on my mouth.
I jerked my head back away from her. “What the fuck did you do? I swear to God Lori if she left, you will regret whatever it is you did. ” I pushed her out of my way.