If only her eyes didn’t tell another story.
MY MOTHER AND I walked arm in arm along the dirt trail. I was exhausted. Once everyone found out Luke and I were expecting a baby, everything got crazy. What plans were being made? Would I keep going to school? What about my degree? Where were going to live? It was endless. When my mother pulled me to the side and asked if I would take a walk with her, I was somewhat relieved.
We walked along in silence for a few minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore. “You’re upset aren’t you, Mom?”
Turning to look at me with a stunned expression, she shook her head. “No, I’m not upset with you, Libby. I do have to ask you one thing though.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I got ready for it. “Okay.”
She stared straight ahead as we walked. “Did you use some form of birth control?”
I stopped walking. “Yes. Mom, I didn’t purposely get pregnant. I was on birth control. I’ve been on birth control ever since you took me that one time.”
Her eyebrows rose. I looked away embarrassed for some reason. “Luke wore a condom any time we were together, up until Christmas break. We were together one night and it just felt right and magical. I feel so embarrassed talking to you about this.”
I turned away from her. She walked up and put her arm around me as we continued to walk. “Libby, you’re a grown woman and I don’t live with blinders on. Your father and I knew you and Luke were in a sexually active relationship. I was your age once too, you know.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down.
“Gross mom, I just threw up in my mouth some.”
She laughed as she moved her arm and we walked together holding hands now. “Libby, I’m not going to judge you or say you did something wrong. You used protection and you’re not upset about being pregnant. I’m glad you’re being honest. It’s just, I would have rather you waited a few more years.”
Nodding my head, I stopped and turned to my mom. “The day I found I was pregnant was the day we were leaving for our camping trip. I was scared, Mom. I knew you and Dad were going to be upset with me. I didn’t want to disappoint either of you. I didn’t know how Luke was going to react either. When Luke graduates, we had already decided he was going to get a job close to A&M, maybe at a ranch or something. Being apart wasn’t an option.”
“Did you ever talk about kids?”
I chuckled. “No. I mean sometimes we would talk about our future and we both wanted kids. The plan was to wait a year or so after I graduated. I would stop taking the pill. If it happened, it happened. Then, I started to feel sick. Like I was getting the flu. My period was a few days late, so I bought a test. I was positive I wasn’t pregnant. I mean, I was on the pill. I took them every single day at the same time of the day.”
Clearing her throat my mother asked, “Libby, did you ever talk to your doctor about being sexually active?”
“I was planning on it when I went to her for my yearly. Why?”
“Were you still taking the same birth control pills? I mean your doctor hasn’t changed the type of pills or anything has she?”
I shook my head. “No. It’s been the same pills I’ve taken all along. Why?”
Stopping my mother looked at me with such a loving face. “Baby, you were on the lowest dose of birth control pills. You were supposed to talk to her before you became sexually active.”
Thinking back to that day in the doctor’s office, I remembered the doctor telling me I would need a higher dose once I became sexual active. My mouth dropped in horror as I slammed my hands over my mouth. “I’m so stupid! I totally forgot about her saying that, Mom.”
Shaking her head she winked. “Well, what’s meant to be will be.”
“Luke says the baby is a miracle. That she saved his life.”
Lacing her arm with mine, we began to head back toward Gunner and Ellie’s house. “How so?”
“Mom, it was bad on that trail. Luke had lost so
much blood and he kept going in and out of consciousness.” I shuddered as if I could still feel the cold wind blowing on me. “A cold front had moved through and the temperature dropped so fast. I was beginning to think Luke wouldn’t make it through the night. Then Mr. and Mrs. Lambert showed up.”
My mother stopped walking. “Who?”
“It was this older couple. We had met them before we went hiking. They walked by our campsite and it was really weird because they even warned Luke to watch where he stepped when we went on a hike. And Mrs. Lambert even told me to bring my phone. I thought it was kind of ironic that their last name was the same as your maiden name.”
My mother was just staring at me. “Keep going, Libby.”
I continued. “I don’t even know what time it was, but it was dark. I heard someone talking and I looked up to see Mr. and Mrs. Lambert. I was shocked they were out late and in the cold. I was panicked and asked for them to go get help. I didn’t want to leave, Luke. That’s when the really strange thing happened.”
“What?” my mother asked in a whisper.