Glancing over my shoulder, I smiled at Lauren. “Yes. I wanted to give y’all some privacy. Are they happy?”
Lauren chuckled as she nodded. “Very happy.”
“I’m so happy for you both; I hope you know that.”
“I do, but I’d really wish you would tell me what’s wrong. You seem so unhappy.”
With a weak smile, I turned back to the horse and gently stroked her neck. “I’m feeling a bit . . . lost right now.”
She sat down on the hay bale next to me. “Want to talk about it?”
With a quiet voice, I replied, “I sometimes think what happened in Paris with Jase was a dream. Like it never happened.”
“Why?”
My shoulders dropped as I wiped at my nose. “Because for a few hours I felt the happiest I’d ever felt.”
“Maybe you should call Jase.”
Shaking my head, I tried to ignore the ache in my chest. “It’s too late. I told him to leave and then I slept with Clark. That’s such a stupid name. Why in the hell would I have sex with a guy with the name Clark?”
“So what if you slept with him, Taylor? It’s not like you cheated on Jase. Besides, how many girls do you think he’s been with since Paris?”
My eyes snapped down to her. “Thanks, Lauren. That makes me feel so much better.”
Her face fell as she whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“I feel like I’m so lost right now, and that alone throws me off even more. I’ve always had it so together. The one who knew what she wanted in life. I was never going to settle for any guy, and I certainly wasn’t going to have meaningless sex.”
Breaking down, I buried my face in my hands. Lauren jumped up and engulfed me in her arms.
“Taylor, you made a mistake. You thought by sleeping with Clark you’d be able to prove something to yourself and maybe you did.”
I shook my head and pulled back. “What though? I have no clue what I was trying to prove. That I could do it? That I could stand up for myself and leave my job. That I could attract a guy into my bed and hopefully if Jase ever found out he’d be sorry he ever left me that day in Paris.”
“Yes. I believe that last part is exactly what you wanted.”
My shoulders slumped as I let out an exasperated breath. “I’m such an idiot. I gave up everything I wanted in one day.” Lifting my hand, I snapped my fingers. “Just like that. Gone.”
“No, that’s not true. We’re serious about you coming to work here. I really think with your help we can truly get a better handle on the finances. You’d be invaluable with analyzing everything from the supplies we use to the rate we pay for the studs. Think about it, Tay. Daddy was impressed with the suggestions you made earlier just after looking through the inventory of the cleaning supplies!”
With a small chuckle, I nodded. “I think if you looked at all the suppliers, you’d be able to cut the costs by half.”
“See! You could stay in the hunter’s cabin and have a place all to yourself. It’s been remodeled and sits empty.”
With a deep breath in, I slowly blew it out. I knew she was right. This was exactly what I needed. “To starting over?”
Lauren flashed me the biggest grin I’d ever seen. “Oh my glitter! We’re going to work together!”
With a smile of my own, I squeezed her hands and said, “We’re going to work together.”
“And you never know when fate will step in again, Taylor. She seems to do that a lot with you and Jase.”
Trying to stay positive, I nodded and smiled a bit bigger. “Yeah, she does. Here’s hoping she doesn’t let me down.”
Jase
“Jase, I need to take a trip into Mason. You want to go?”