Glancing down, she pressed her lips together before looking back up at me. “Is she one of the girls you’ve slept with before?”
I wanted to tell her no, but I would never lie to her. “Yes.”
“I see.”
Taking her by the arms, I pulled her closer to me. “It’s my past, Taylor, and it has nothing to do with us right now. I swear to you, nothing has happened between us in over a year.”
“Okay,” she barely spoke.
Placing my finger on her chin, I lifted her eyes to mine. “I swear to you. Please say you believe me.”
She paused for longer than I wanted her to before she offered a weak smile and said, “I believe you.”
“Let’s eat okay, sweetness?”
She nodded as I slipped my hand around her waist and led her to the restaurant.
After we ordered drinks, Taylor and I quickly forgot about Cammie.
“So, what are your plans once we get back to Texas?” I asked as I took a bite of food.
Her smile lit up as she said, “I’m starting work for my grandfather. He’s offered me an analyst position within his company.”
My stomach twisted and Cammie’s words rushed through my head. How would this work between us if she worked in Austin and I worked in Llano?
“That’s awesome,” I said with a forced smile.
“What about you?” she asked.
With a hard swallow, I reached for my beer and took a drink. “I’ll be heading to Llano to work on my father’s ranch full time.”
Her smile faded as she looked down at her food and pushed it around. “How often will I get to see you?” Glancing up, she continued to talk. “I mean, with you living in Llano and me in Austin, how are we . . . I mean . . . I could always go part-time at my grandfather’s company.”
It was then I realized I could never let Taylor walk away from her dream . . . no matter how much I loved her. I knew what I had to do and it was going to destroy both of us in the process, but it was the only thing I could think of.
Taking in a deep breath, I slowly blew it out. “This isn’t going to work.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “Wh-what isn’t going to work?”
“This. Us. I mean, if you’re going to be starting a new position within your family’s business, you’ll be working long hours. I’ll be working long hours and we’ll be almost three hours away from each other.”
Slowly shaking her head, her mouth parted open. “What are you doing, Jase? Do you regret what happened between us?”
“What? No!” I gasped. “What happened between us earlier was the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Why do you keep doing this?”
“I . . . I’m just not sure I deserve you and I would never want you to leave your job because of me.”
“Why do you think you don’t deserve you?”
My eyes looked over at Cammie who was sitting at the bar watching everything. I knew if given the chance she would tell Taylor about the night I spent with her and her friend.
Pushing my hand through my hair, I lowered my voice. “I’ve done something in my past I’m not proud of and if you ever found out about it . . . you might think differently of me.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “You think that little of me? So you have a past? I don’t care about that.”
My head was spinning. “I want to feel like I deserve you, Taylor. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”