I look over at my mate. Dagesh isn't the most exciting of men, which I thought I wanted when I was younger. I wanted someone that made me breathless, someone that would lead me on a rollercoaster of emotions. Dagesh isn't that guy. He's mild natured on the best of days, with a streak of kindness a mile wide. He's dependable and steady, and the antithesis of what I thought I wanted.
He's also someone that's utterly devoted to me and the girls, a wonderful father, and helps me out with the children without me having to ask. He's a good provider, and thoughtful. He's handsome, and best of all, he pays attention. He finds out what I need and makes sure I get it. He asks for permission when we want to try something new in bed. He gives, rather than takes.
I thought I'd always want someone that took and didn't ask. Turns out I was wrong about that. I was wrong about a lot of stuff.
If you would have asked me at the age of twenty-one if I wanted to raise a big family on a planet covered with ice and have my mate chosen for me by a parasite, I'd have thought you were insane.
Turns out, it's exactly what I need.
The khui knows. The khui always knows. Dagesh might not be the wild-eyed prince of my dreams, but I don't need or want that guy anymore. I want the good father, the good listener, the big alien man that's there when I wake up in the morning and tells the girls bedtime stories. I want a mate that's thoughtful and devoted, the mate that isn't afraid to spank me or hold me down in bed if I need it, but will also make breakfast and braid pigtails when I'm too tired to get out of bed.
It couldn't have picked better for me.
The khui always knows. Maybe Analay's khui already knows about Anna's khui, too. If it picked so well for me, I need to trust that it will pick equally well for my little girl. I need to trust in the universe.
And when my mate returns to my side with a steaming latke and a smile, I know the universe has my back. It gave me Dagesh, after all.