13
Days Later
NORA
The bathing pool is full today, which is weird. I normally take a soak in the middle of the day because most of the hunters are out at that time and I don't feel bad for lounging around for a while. But today, the pool is full and I watch as Ariana sits on the edge of the pool, a blanket over her nakedness as her mate relaxes in the water between her legs. She braids his hair for him as he talks to one of the elders, and both Georgie and Stacy are in the water, along with their mates. Oh. I hesitate and then turn around to head back to my cave. It's not that I don't like them. I do. But the water can only hold so many bodies, and the thought of rubbing up against my tribes-mates naked—because everyone swims naked—is a little weird to me.
I'm feeling a little restless, though, and when I go back to the cave and see my mate, I'm relieved. Here's the distraction I need. "Hi there, stranger." I grin up at him. "Did you come looking for me?"
He looks a bit guilty at the sight of me. "Are you not going to bathe?"
"Do I need to?" I shrug and move over to the spot where my folded clothes are laid out. "The water's full anyhow. Everyone's hanging around today for some reason."
"Ah." Dagesh nods. "The weather is not good. That is why everyone stays."
"Really? It seemed all right to me." I glanced at the main cave's entrance just briefly, but what I remember seemed to be sunny—or at least as sunny as this planet gets.
"Rokan says he has a feeling it will get bad," Dagesh says. He tugs on his ear, looking flustered.
"That'll do it, then," I say cheerfully. "Well, if it's not too bad yet, do you want to go with me to pick berries or tea leaves or something? I'm feeling a bit restless."
"I…" My mate hesitates. "I have other things I must do. I am sorry."
"Oh. Okay." I study him for a moment because he seems distracted. "Are you all right, love?" I bite my lip, and it's on the tip of my tongue to ask if something's bothering him. A specific something about last night, in which I faked yet another orgasm. It's not that I don't like the touching or the sex—I love all of that—but he's not giving me what I need to climax. I've been faking small orgasms for a while now. Not every time. Sometimes I still manage to have the occasional orgasm. But lately it's been harder and harder for me to get my mind to that place where I can just let go, and I worry he's noticed.
I love Dagesh. I don't want to hurt his feelings over something like this. He's grossed out by the thought of rough sex, and yet rough sex is what I need to really come hard enough to see stars. It's a pickle, but it's also not worth fighting over. I'm happy with him. Sex isn't all that important in the big scheme of things.
I…can't believe I'm telling myself that, but it's the truth. If having Dagesh means having vanilla sex for the rest of my life, then it'll just be a little boring. I'm fine with that. I really am. The feeling of missing out will eventually go away.
"You…sure you're okay?" I ask him again.
He moves to my side and puts his hands on my shoulders. "My mate, you have my heart. Do not worry over anything." He presses a kiss to my forehead. "All will be well, I promise."
So does that mean they're not well right now? I frown, about to ask this, when there's a scratch at the privacy screen over the front of our cave. "It's me, Stacy," calls a cheery voice. "I'm about to head out and gather some soap-berries. Did you want to come with?"
Dagesh springs into action. He grabs my clothes and pushes them into my arms. "You should go with her. We can use more soap-berries."
"Oh, uh, okay." I try to hide my frown, because I wanted to spend the day with my mate, not with my friend. But it feels almost as if Dagesh is trying to get rid of me, and I worry I've somehow offended him. Chewing on my lip, I hesitate, then decide to push it aside. "All right. Give me five, Stacy. I need to dress."
"Cool, I'll wait out here!"
Dagesh gives me a bright-eyed smile and hands me my boots. Jeez. Now it really feels like he wants to get rid of me.
* * *
If I seem a bit mopey, Stacy doesn't comment on it. We pick berries and chat while staying somewhat close to the cave, and the weather never turns, much to my surprise. By the time we head back to the cave, we've got full baskets of soap-berries, enough for both of us for several months and enough to share with others. As we head into the cave, Pashov is at the entrance. Instead of greeting his mate, he immediately dashes inside.