Other people made mistakes. Did that mean they didn’t deserve forgiveness?
Didn’t she deserve it?
He slapped her ass until she could feel tears dripping from her eyes and the ice starting to really crack. The physical sensations of pain and arousal was starting to break through her reserve.
“You can be angry with me. You can hate me, Noelle, but this was not your fault.”
“I can’t…” She started to speak but it was hard to breathe between the emotion welling inside her and her body pulsing with feeling. She was starting to lose control.
“You can. You can put it all on me. I lied to you. She lied to you. She promised you the world and never meant a word of it,” Hutch said gravely. “I promised I would take care of you and I didn’t.”
But he had. He was trying so hard even now.
He was giving himself up to save her from the pain of knowing she’d made this mistake.
Her body ached, but nothing like her soul did. “I can’t…”
“You can,” he insisted. “You can do anything, Noelle. Anything. This will not break you. I won’t break you.”
But he did. He broke her in the best way. Noelle let that wall finally come down, the one that kept her safe from all this emotion, the one that kept her away from him. Her wall came down because he was safety and love and risk, and that was okay. He was the one she could risk all the heartache on, the one she could share her pain with, the one who would never leave her alone.
He hadn’t truly left her alone today. When he’d let her be arrested, he’d still been choosing her. The truth hit her squarely. He’d chosen her future over momentary discomfort. He’d believed she was strong enough to handle herself, and he’d made the call he’d been trained to make.
“I can’t hate you.” She finally got the words she needed to say out. “I can never hate you. I love you.”
The wall came totally down and she sobbed. The events of the day—of the last several years—poured out of her. She’d made a terrible mistake, but she wasn’t alone. She had a family who would forgive her, who wouldn’t even think twice. They would open their arms and welcome her.
Hutch picked her up and carried her to the bed, and when she looked into his gorgeous eyes, they were shining with tears because he wouldn’t hold back from her. He was strong enough to break, too. He’d put himself back together again and again.
“I love you, too,” he said. “God, I love you so much.”
She held on to him as the storm flowed through her. She’d tried to hold it back, but now she realized how much she needed this. How much had she held back because she’d had to prove to everyone that she was strong? She might not have cried like this since that first time her stepmom had pushed her until she’d believed she might walk again.
She could rebuild her wall and hide behind all the reasons she couldn’t trust this feeling—they hadn’t known each other long enough, their relationship was forged under pressure—or she could let her heart take over and accept that this man was everything she’d longed for.
She cried, letting the pain go. She’d been stupid, but she’d had the best of intentions. He should have told her what he was going to do, but he’d had the best of intentions.
She could let go of the pain, but she didn’t have to let go of him.
“Baby, I have to get these off you.” He smoothed back her hair and kissed her forehead.
She’d almost forgotten about the clamps. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. She probably looked terrible, but Hutch was staring at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world.
Any tragedy was survivable if the right person was holding her hand.
“They don’t hurt.”
He winced. “Probably because you’re numbed out, and you’re about to not be.”
He eased the first clamp off and the blood flooded back into her nipple, making her bite back a scream. Hutch was immediately on top of her, his lips and tongue on the abused flesh, soothing it.
The pain had been momentary, but arousal started to flood through her. Between the ache in her ass and the sensation of having her nipples tortured and then loved, all she could think about was having his hands on her.
She could make it through the night if his hands stroked her.
She could make it through life if his hand held hers.
He dealt with the other nipple and then started to kiss his way down her body.
He’d given her a safe place to cry, and now he seemed determined to lavish her body with the affection she needed to connect to him. He ripped the thin material of her underwear and exposed her pussy. She didn’t need a command to spread her thighs wide and offer herself up to him.