Now he needed to play things carefully. “You didn’t want to walk in those big-ass footsteps. I get that. So what did you do when the CIA called?”
Kyle huffed. “Of course everyone knows.”
“It was a decent bet,” Hutch said with a shrug. “You went into Special Forces training. The Agency watches those recruits, and the minute your name was placed in close proximity to a Taggart…”
“Yeah, my team worked with a Mr. Brown shortly after I got the assignment. I was recruited from there. Tag knows?” Kyle asked.
“He suspects, but you have to know he checked up on you.”
“Well, I rather thought my handler would have covered it up better.” Kyle sighed. “I’ll talk to him about it. I’m not particularly proud of the work I did there. It’s why I got out. I came home and it still doesn’t make sense. It might be time for me to try something else.”
Hutch knew exactly what he should try. “Have you tried talking about it? With Kai?”
Kyle’s hands fisted at his sides. “Talking about it won’t work.”
“Have you tried it?”
“No. And I’m not going to.”
Well, that was about as far as he could push the guy. Someone had to be open to therapy for it to work, and Kyle was kind of right about him being different. By the time he’d been plucked from juvie and offered a different life, he’d been ready to try anything. Kai Ferguson had been his therapist for years, and while he probably didn’t need it anymore, he liked to go. It was good to have someone to purge to. In a lot of ways those sessions with Kai were a way to process what happened around him. He’d learned not to react emotionally but rather to allow his emotions to process and then act in a way that best represented who he wanted to be.
Did he want to lie to Noelle?
Did he even have a fucking choice?
Would it be wrong to ask for a session in the middle of an op?
“Have I lost you?” Kyle sounded irritated.
Hutch glanced back at his laptop. He had some programs running, trying to figure out the layout of Genedyne’s system. It was complex, but definitely not undoable. “You said you didn’t want to talk. So I thought we weren’t talking.”
A brow rose over Kyle’s eyes. “Aren’t you going to try to convince me?”
“Nope. That’s your damage, and until you’re ready to face it, no amount of me trying to convince you will work.” He might need to get into the server room. He’d hoped he could do it all from here, but it would be infinitely easier with physical contact. How long would it take him? The server room was on the floor below the business level. MaeBe was on standby. He could bust through the keycard processor easy peasy, but it might set off a security alert.
“You think I don’t face it?”
Now was the time when he would normally take a fucked-up dude out for a beer and gently coax him into telling the whole sad story. Dudes could be skittish, too. But Kyle wasn’t the normal life-fucked-me-over story. Kyle might be dangerous, and he couldn’t make him more suspicious than he already was. Telling him Tag knew he’d worked with the Agency was a calculated risk, but a fairly easy one to make.
Telling Kyle his uncle thought he might still be working for them would be a mistake, and Hutch didn’t make mistakes like that.
“I think you risked our client at two this morning because you didn’t want to face whatever you dreamed about,” Hutch explained.
Kyle stopped. “You might have a point. Maybe coming here was a huge mistake.”
“Where else would you go? I can assure you you’ll have to sleep there, too.”
“You’re kind of an asshole.”
“Well, somehow I don’t think me coaxing you is going to work,” Hutch pointed out. “You’ve made it perfectly clear that we aren’t friends.”
“How did I do that?”
“Friends don’t bust through other friend’s security systems when their friend’s girlfriend is in danger. I mean, I got the point from all the crap you’ve said over the last couple of days, but that really drove it home.”
Kyle’s jaw dropped. “Crap I’ve said? I was joking.”
He was missing the point. And rewriting history. “You literally said we weren’t friends. Several times.”
“Fine. We’re friends.” Kyle sat back down. “I’m not sure what to do or if I should even stay here. I can’t talk to my brother about this. He wouldn’t understand. David’s a freaking college professor. He’s never had to do the things I’ve done. The worst he’s faced is pressure over publishing. He talks about that a lot. It’s the pinnacle of bad shit in his world. How can I tell him I’ve killed people?”
Ah, now they were getting somewhere. It was hard for Hutch to believe that this was an act. He didn’t think Kyle was that great an actor. It was odd, but he wouldn’t peg Kyle as a brilliant operative. Kyle would be able to kill when he needed to, would probably be great at following a subject and analyzing a situation. But pretending would be hard for him. At least that was Hutch’s take on the man.