Kyle chuckled. “But he understands the class, and that’s why he’s all jealous and shit.”
“I’m not walking in and immediately having sex with my training Dom,” she said with a huff. She’d thought about it, but she hadn’t even met the man yet, and if she was exploring a relationship with Hutch, she certainly wouldn’t cheat on him.
“Most people do by the end because it’s an intimate experience,” Kyle pointed out. “And that’s what you want. At least that’s what I heard when you talked about it. You want the experience, and Hutch knows what that means.”
She did want the experience. She wanted what her aunt had found at the club—a network of friends who were also counted as family. If she let Hutch train her, she would always be Hutch’s sub. She wouldn’t simply be Noelle. She wouldn’t find her own friends, and she couldn’t count on the man forever. The most likely scenario was that they’d had an odd bonding experience when she’d been attacked the day before, and it had led them to an intimacy that wouldn’t hold up in the real world. They would sleep together during this crisis, and then it would fall apart when they went back to their own spaces.
And she would be devastated because Kyle was right about the fact that she usually felt something for the men she’d slept with. She felt so much for Hutch. If she let herself, she could fall in love with the man.
She’d hated that look in his eyes, like she’d killed some light there.
“He’ll get over it,” Kyle said as he finally turned down the road that led to Genedyne. “And hey, who knows, maybe when you’re done with training you’ll want to play with him. If he ever goes back to the club.”
“MaeBe told me he was a member there.”
“Yeah, but from what I understand, he hasn’t been going regularly.” Kyle pulled into the parking garage, and the monitor overhead picked up the sticker on her windshield and let them in. “He’s been…I don’t know…looking for something lately, according to his friends. But don’t worry about it. He’s a good guy. He’ll find it someday. He was moving way too fast with you.”
She’d felt it, too. “We made a connection.”
Kyle seemed to think about that for a moment. “What you have is insane chemistry. It happens sometimes, and it feels like the best thing in the world. It’s incredible and addictive, and it doesn’t mean you’re in love. It means some people fuck together better than they do with others. Sex isn’t love. It’s a biological function we’re taught to pretty up so we forget we’re animals at the core.”
Well that had gone dark fast. “You don’t believe humans can love each other?”
“Of course I do. I don’t think that sexual chemistry equals love, even though it can feel like it,” Kyle insisted. “I think love is more than passion. Love is about the quiet times, being comfortable. It’s about friendship every bit as much as it is about sex. You can have the best sex in your life and if the person you’re having it with isn’t good for you, it’s not love, and no amount of trying to make it love will fix things.”
He pulled into the parking spot reserved for her. It was one of the best spots in the building. This row was close to the elevators, the spaces larger than the tiny ones on the floors above. It was another perk that came with being the head of a lab, one she rarely used, but when she’d offered to let Pete use it, he’d paled and said no one wanted Jessica to catch a non-lead using the spots.
She wasn’t trying to make last night into some kind of love thing. It was what it was. Good sex, and she liked Hutch. Really liked Hutch. “Should I talk to him?”
“Yes. Him. You should talk to him.” Kyle suddenly sounded enthusiastic. He put the car in park. “You should have talked to him before you slept with him. I’m sorry. I’m putting that on you when it should be on Hutch. You were looking for a good time. He was looking for something more. He should have talked to you and figured out you weren’t on the same page.”
“I wasn’t looking for a good time.” She slid out of the car and grabbed her braces. She hated using them, but the cane wasn’t going to do it after what had happened in the locker room. It would be days before she would be back on her cane.
Hutch hadn’t seemed to mind.
“It’s okay.” Kyle shut the door and hit the button to lock it up. “You don’t have to make excuses. Sex for sex’s sake is normal and healthy. But I would suggest you think about it before you hop in bed with him again. He’s looking for something you’re not, and you could hurt him. And I say that knowing I’m going to get kicked out to the couch again. Did I mention your couch sucks? It is not comfortable.”