Like the rest of his life had lost… He wasn’t sure what word he was thinking of. Spark? Adventure? Shine?
All he knew was that lately he’d felt like he was doing nothing more than going through the motions. Go to work. Go home. Eat dinner alone and sit in front of a screen of some kind. Wake up and do it all over again.
He felt a bit empty, and that wasn’t what he’d expected since he knew what real tragedy was. He had most of what he needed in life, so why was there a hole in his soul?
“Are you not coming out tonight?” Theo Taggart asked, his keys in hand. “Case is in town, and he and Mia are letting the girls watch Heath. Although do not mention that to him. He thinks it’s a hangout with his cousins. He doesn’t know Tasha is getting paid. He’s sensitive about the word babysitter. I’m not mentioning it to my eleven-year-old either.”
Case and Theo Taggart were the youngest of the Taggart brothers. Fraternal twins, Case was a few minutes older than his brother. They were both solid guys. Hutch had worked with the brothers for years.
“Tasha’s in charge of everyone?” Tag’s oldest kid was very responsible, but there were a lot of kids in that family, and they were not known for their calmness. Tag alone had four besides Tash.
“Carys is there, too. Kenzie will be solid, and Kala will sit in her room and play on the computer.” Theo frowned. “I hope that’s what she’s doing. I worry she’s setting herself up for world domination or something. She spends way too much time with her Aunt Chelsea. Come with us. It’ll be a blast. Case is only here for a week or two and then he’s back in New York for the rest of the year. 4L is rolling out something big, and he’s in charge of security around it.”
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hang with Case. It was that being in Sanctum reminded him how fucking dull his life had become. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but somehow the things that used to hold meaning for him had faded. Somehow turning thirty had been a tipping point, and now playing video games all night with strangers across the globe no longer held appeal.
Which was precisely why he should go to the club, find a pretty sub, and pass a nice night.
Yeah, that had lost its appeal, too.
“Maybe I will come,” he hedged because he didn’t want Theo to think he was dodging Case.
Theo looked like he wasn’t completely buying the words, but he nodded. “I hope to see you there. Michael, thanks for the hospitality. It was fun to spend an afternoon with the guys.”
Because Theo rarely did it anymore. He usually spent his Saturdays at his daughter’s soccer games or doing things with his son. He was a family man, and it was obvious that made him happy.
Michael Malone stood in his entryway and nodded. There was a smile on his face, but it couldn’t hide the grimness in his eyes.
It hadn’t been that long since Michael had called off his long-planned wedding, and there were still touches of his fiancée all over the condo.
The door closed behind Theo and he was left alone with Michael. They’d been friends for years. Over a decade. Hutch had been the tech expert on the CIA team Michael and the other guys worked for back in the day. Most of that same team now worked at McKay-Taggart, though they all found themselves at different places in life. Theo and Case had been married for years. Some of the other guys were in seemingly happy relationships. Some were single and mingling.
Hutch felt stuck, and he wondered if that wasn’t how Michael felt, too.
“You going to Sanctum tonight?” Michael had been a regular when he’d been with his fiancée. Hutch still wasn’t sure what had happened between the two, but Michael hadn’t dated since the breakup.
Michael’s mouth turned down in a frown. “I should, but I think I’m going to stay here and watch the late game. You’re welcome to join me. I’ve noticed you haven’t been going regularly.”
Hanging out with Michael might be a better way to spend his evening. At least he wouldn’t watch the scenes and the couples and try to figure out why he felt restless. After he’d broken up with Katy, he’d spent a lot of time at the club, but no time connecting with anyone. “It doesn’t feel the same lately. It’s weird. I can’t seem to find my focus. I haven’t found a scene partner I click with in a long time.”
He’d only had a couple of women he’d viewed as anything beyond transitory partners. There were subs he would scene with when they needed a top, but none of them had been “his.” His one foray into the vanilla dating world had been a spectacular disaster that led him to almost a year of celibacy, and he couldn’t seem to get back into a routine.