“The only thing I know to do with a baby is hold it for five minutes, say how beautiful he or she is, and give it back to their parents!”
For the first time since Dirk walked back through my door, he looked worried. “He will be asleep most of the time, right?”
“I have no clue!” I said, laughing once more.
He raked his fingers through his dark hair. “Well, shit. What in the hell did I get us into?”
I walked up and wrapped my arms around him, playing with the hair at the back of his neck. His green eyes darkened as he looked down at me. “I don’t know. But it looks like we’re in it together.”
“Maybe I can bribe Timberlynn and Tanner to babysit instead of us.”
I shot him a dirty look. “You’ll do no such thing. Lincoln thinks it’s going to be us.” I chewed on my thumbnail before I said, “I mean, how hard can it be to watch a sleeping baby?”
“Right? He’s little. He can’t run around or talk back. I can change diapers; I’ve done it before.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’ve changed diapers?”
“Don’t look at me like that. Yes, I’ve changed plenty of them. If you don’t remember, Brock was a single dad. I was there for him. I changed that kid’s diapers a lot. I won’t even begin to tell you how many times that little shithead pissed on me mid-diaper change. By the way, that would be the only downside of having a boy.”
I rolled my eyes as he went on.
“I was never left alone with the baby, but I can change diapers. I consider myself a master diaper changer if I do say so myself.”
I tried with all my might to keep in my laughter. “Is that right? Then, I hereby dub thee the diaper changer for this evening’s events.”
He looked worried but played it off. “Fine by me.”
“Oh. My. Gosh!” I said as I covered my mouth and tried not to gag. “What is that smell?”
Dirk held Hunter away from his body and tried to hand him to me.
I put my hand up and shook my head. “Unless you want me to throw up, do not hand me that baby.”
“I’m going to throw up if you don’t take him!”
Taking a step back, I dropped my hand. “But you said you were the master diaper changer.”
“That was before Satan took over this kid’s body and shit in his diaper. There’s something strange coming out of him.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“It’s not funny, Merit. You have to do something!”
“Nope. You offered us up to babysit, you claimed to know all when it came to diaper duty, so you are changing his diaper.”
He glared at me. “I hope our son pays you back someday and pees on you.”
My stomach fluttered, and I smiled. “Do you want a boy?”
He paused for a moment, then smiled, too. “Honestly, I want a healthy baby; I don’t care if it’s a boy or girl.”
Hunter started to cry, apparently tired of being suspended in midair with a very dirty diaper.
“Well, practice away, diaper master.” I quickly turned and called back, “I’ll get his bottle ready!”
Dirk mumbled something about payback under his breath as I dashed out of the nursery and made my way to the kitchen. Lincoln had left instructions on how to heat up the bottle Hunter was supposed to get before going down for the night. She also informed me that Hunter had been sleeping through the night, which was good news for sure.
After heating up the bottle, I turned to see Dirk standing in the archway of the kitchen, holding Hunter in his arms. My stomach dropped at the sight, and I swore my heart skipped a beat or two as I stared at them both.
“What’s wrong? Do I have poop on me?” Dirk asked as he held Hunter away from him.
I slowly shook my head. “No. You look so…”
He raised his brows. “So?”
“Handsome. Sexy. Handsome.”
Dirk smirked. “You said handsome twice.”
With a quick shake of my head, I took the bottle and reached for Hunter, carefully taking him in my arms. “It’s time to eat, little man.”
“After that explosion in his diaper, he’s more than ready to fill his stomach back up.”
Hunter gazed up at me with his big blue eyes, and I smiled. “He was only doing what babies do! Isn’t that right, little man?”
A smile appeared on Hunter’s face, and I felt a bubble of happiness build inside of me. For the first time since I’d found out I was pregnant, I was actually excited. A feeling of longing for my own child hit me right in the chest, and I almost started to cry. Damn hormones.
I sat down in the rocker and got comfortable. Hunter reached his little hand up and rested it on mine, and I swooned.