“What do you mean?”
He slowly shook his head. “Dirk, by your own admission, you don’t want a family or kids. At least, not right now. Hell, you and Merit seem to be at odds more often than you’re friends. Has that even changed?”
“No. Especially since she overheard me tell Brock I didn’t want a relationship with her.”
Tanner’s eyes widened in shock, and he sat up a little straighter. “You said that? Holy shit, dude.”
I sighed. “I didn’t know about the baby then, and I didn’t even mean it and only said it to get Brock off my back. I was lost without my dad. Hell, I still feel that way. I don’t know up from down right now.”
Tanner frowned. “You said you needed to get Brock off your back. Why?”
“Space. I needed space from Merit and the way she was making me feel. Brock wouldn’t stop pushing me on the subject of her. It was the only thing I knew to say to shut him up. I didn’t want to deal with my feelings for Merit, and the easiest thing to do was to push those feelings to the side. I didn’t even know she was at the ranch that day. I fucked up, man.”
Tanner scoffed and then smirked. “You’re honestly that afraid of committing to someone that you’d rather hurt them than come to terms with your own feelings?”
“It’s a lot more complicated than that, Tanner.”
“It’s not if you love her.”
I closed my eyes. “I don’t even know if there’s anything there between us.”
He let out a sarcastic laugh. “The fuck, Dirk! There’s a shit ton between you. There’s a baby. There’s a woman who clearly loves you, and you’re too busy running from your own feelings. Dude, man the fuck up.”
This time, I stood and glared down at him. “Man the fuck up?”
“Yes,” Tanner said, standing, as well. “If you have feelings for her like you said you do, this should be easy. Go to her. She needs you. She. Needs. You.”
“She needs me?” I said, my voice dripping with anger and disdain. “She kept this from me. She had no intentions of telling me about this baby, and trust me, she had plenty of opportunities.”
A gasp came from behind me. I spun around to see Timberlynn and Lincoln standing there, both of them wearing shocked expressions on their faces.
It was Timberlynn who spoke first. “How did you find out?”
My stomach lurched. Timberlynn did know.
Tanner faced his wife. “You knew Merit was pregnant?”
She nodded with a few quick jerks as she softly replied, “Yes, I knew.”
I looked at Lincoln. I knew instantly by the look on her face that she did, as well.
“And you? You also knew?” I asked.
Lincoln looked down and then back up at me. “Dirk, she asked us not to say anything. She’s been trying to work through this. To figure out how to tell you because she thinks you’re going to be mad and not want the baby, and then with what happened…”
“Mad? Mad! I’m fucking mad that she didn’t tell me. She lied to me!”
Timberlynn stepped closer. “She has not lied to you, Dirk.”
I rolled my eyes and let out a disbelieving laugh. “Well, she sure as shit hasn’t told me the truth. She went to a doctor’s appointment without me. Heard the heartbeat, without me. What else was she planning on doing without me?”
Lincoln took a step toward me; sadness, or maybe a little bit of regret, shown in her eyes. “She was going to tell you. I think she’s simply been scared.”
That made my stomach drop. “Scared…of what?” I asked the question even though I knew the answer.
Timberlynn replied before Lincoln could. “You. Your reaction, what you’ll think. She has this notion you’re going to think she’s trying to trap you.”
I stared at Timberlynn with a stunned look. “Trap me?”
Lincoln spoke again. “Dirk, it’s been eating at her that she hasn’t told you. She’s an emotional wreck right now.”
I let out a harsh laugh. “Really? How long has she known?”
They both exchanged a look, and it was Timberlynn who answered. “I was with her the day she took the test at home. It was the same day as…”
Her words faded, and she simply stared at me.
I glared at her. “Spit it the fuck out, Timberlynn.”
“Don’t talk to my wife that way, Dirk,” Tanner stated as he stood next to Timberlynn and wrapped his arm around her, giving me a warning look.
I closed my eyes and pulled in a slow, deep breath, then exhaled and opened them again as I clenched my fists. Timberlynn had tears in her eyes, and I felt like an absolute dick. “I’m sorry, doll. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Please, tell me how long she’s known.”
Timberlynn’s voice shook as she replied, “She found out the same day as your father’s accident.”