“We’re not going home,” Kaylee stated. “Dirk, we want to be here for you and your mother. We’ll wait down here at least until he gets out of surgery. Call us if you need anything.”
I leaned down and kissed her on the top of her head before reaching for Merit’s hand and lacing my fingers through hers. If Kaylee noticed, she hid it well, but I knew deep down it thrilled her beyond all get out. Kaylee never missed an opportunity to bring up Merit or tell me how amazing Merit was in her eyes. I, on the other hand, couldn’t help but notice how my chest tightened at any contact with Merit.
“Ready?” I asked her while trying to keep my voice steady.
All she could do was nod.
The ride up in the elevator was silent, with Merit gently rubbing her thumb over my hand. I wasn’t sure if she was aware she was doing it, but I didn’t mind. It calmed a bit of the worry I had going on.
When we walked into the waiting room of the ICU, my mother was there with Merit’s mom, Lori. “Any news?” I asked.
My mother looked up and gave me a weak smile. “He’s out of surgery and in recovery.”
I let out the breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding in. “Good. That’s good,” I replied as I rubbed the back of my neck to ease the tension that hadn’t let up one damn bit since I’d gotten to the hospital.
My mother glanced down to where my hand was connected to Merit’s. Merit immediately dropped my hand and went to sit next to my mother.
“Kimberley, do you need anything? A change of clothes or anything from the house?” Merit asked.
With a light tap against Merit’s hand, my mother smiled warmly. “You are so precious, but I’m good. Stella ran back to the ranch to pack me a small bag. I’m sure I’ll be staying up here with Brad.”
My stomach dropped. What kind of recovery would my father have? How long would he be in the hospital? What would life be like for him after this?
“Um, Mom, what happened?” I asked as all three female gazes swung over to me.
“Oh Lord, I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” My mother stood and came over to sit next to me. “Lori was riding by and saw your daddy’s tractor turned over and in the ditch. When she got there, he was awake, though barely.”
My gaze drifted over to Merit’s mother, Lori.
With a nod, Lori picked up the story. “He was awake and said the accident had just happened.”
“He was awake and talking?” I asked.
“Yes, he was. He was very weak and could hardly talk, but he told me he thought he’d had a heart attack and lost control of the tractor. Then he closed his eyes as I called 911, and he didn’t wake back up again, at least not that I know of.”
“I just can’t believe he had a heart attack,” I said. “He’s in such good health. He runs every day.”
My mother wiped a tear from her eye and turned to look out the window.
“Mom, was something wrong with Dad that you didn’t tell me about?”
She shook her head but didn’t look at me. “No. Not that I’m aware of anyway. I do know he’d been going to the doctor a bit more, but he said it was because his back was hurting him.”
“His back?” I asked. Fuck! I should have been here helping him with the ranch instead of bull riding. Why hadn’t I just walked away after the first win? Why had I kept going?
“Don’t do that,” Merit said.
I jerked my eyes over to hers. “What?” I asked.
“I know what you’re doing, Dirk. I also know if your father didn’t feel like he could handle working the ranch, he would have told you.”
Mom nodded. “Oh, sweetheart, Merit is right. Don’t feel guilty. Your daddy hired a few young boys from town to come and help out on the ranch. He tweaked his back helping a little one mutton busting. It wasn’t even anything ranch related.”
My father had raised goats for kids to mutton bust on. It was something he loved doing, and he adored being around the little kids. He’d casually mention how he couldn’t wait until the day he could do the same with his own grandchild.
I closed my eyes and took in a few deep breaths. I let out a breath, and then let my gaze wander to the windows once more. It didn’t matter how or when my father had hurt himself: I knew deep in my heart I should have been home.
When would I ever stop running?
Chapter Twelve
DIRK
The sounds of the machines hooked up to my father made it nearly impossible to sleep, and I was exhausted. I’d been back in Hamilton for almost ten hours now and had finally convinced my mother to let me stay in the room and watch over Dad while she rested for a bit.